The Forest for the Trees

This has been a particularly rough work week for me, as you may have noticed by my negative and blunt posts. Every day I have had to talk myself into going to work and I’ve been weighed down, emotionally, by the gut wrenching realization that this may be the status quo for me for the duration, and that I have no idea where I will get the will power and stamina to keep doing this for another 7 years and 9 months.

In a nutshell, I work with almost an entire team of slackers and troublemakers in an agency that provides no way to terminate employees or address poor performance and inappropriate behavior (aside from asking people to do better – which I find pointless because if they were better people and employees, they wouldn’t behave the way they do.) I try to lead by example, and encourage better performance and attitudes though pep talks, complements, constructive criticism and problem solving meetings and counseling, but it makes no difference. They are who they are, they are, essentially, untouchable, and they have no incentive to do better. Unless, of course, you dangle promotions or raises in their face, which I can’t do, and wouldn’t anyway. II may not be able to punish bad behavior, but I sure as hell won’t reward it, either.

The truth is, I will have to find away to carry on because I have no options at this point in my life and career. I desperately need the benefits and time accruals that come with my job to attend to my medical needs, which allows me to maintain relatively decent health and some semblance of a normal life outside of work. Also, without a college degree (or even with one, as I am lead to believe from what I’m seeing on the interwebs,) it is unlikely I would find anything above minimum wage, let alone with the medical benefits or the schedule flexibility that allows me to attend my medical appointments or be absent for procedures, surgeries or other medical reasons, as I am prone to need from time to time.

So, I do what I always do: I post my negative thoughts on my blog, and then I struggle through the haze of hopelessness and force myself to acknowledge the following truths:

I’d rather have this job than no job at all.
I’d rather have this job than a myriad of other physically tasking, lower paying, (even more) soul sucking jobs.
I’d rather have this job than be in prison.
I’d rather have this job than be in a hospital fighting for my life.
I can take time off if I need to.
I can retire some day. Maybe not as soon as I want, but I know I’ll be able to, and that’s more than many can say.
I have a family that relies on me to contribute.
I have a husband who would understand if I wanted/needed to quit (which, ironically, inspired me not to.)
I’ve felt this way before, and I’ve gotten through it.

So its not like I can’t see the good…it’s just hard, sometimes, to see it through the bad.

But I’m trying.

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It would be funny if it wasn’t true

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Whine!

My work day sucked.

My employees suck!

My job sucks!

I’m drinking wine!

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Wee! Kend.

It was a fun weekend.

We headed to Hartford CT Friday night to have dinner with the BF and BFH at a favorite Pub (Tisane’s)

Saturday morning, I dragged the hubby and BF to Worcester MA for a Gluten Free Expo at the DCU Center

It was awesome and we headed home with bags full of free samples, purchases and tons of coupons for GF products.

Saturday night, the BF and BFH invited another couple to join us for a cookout, cocktails and a Cards Against Humanity game night.

I spent so much of the night laughing so hard my stomach muscles (I’d never lie and call them abs) still hurt today.

We headed home this morning, exhausted and exhilarated from a great weekend. We decided a quiet day of movies with the dogs was in order.

First up, we watched “Hotel Transylvania”

Followed by the sequel “Hotel Transylvania 2”

I’ve agreed to see “Hotel Transylvania 3” with the BF, so I needed to catch up. They were cute and fun films and, although predictable, had several cute moments that had me chuckling. (And the first movies I’ve ever enjoyed featuring Adam Sandler.)

We ended the movie fest with the Pixar film “Coco”

This film caught us by surprise. We loved it and will be seeing it again. A much needed feel good, heart strings tugging Adventure about the importance of family, music, memories and bring true to yourself.

We also registered for IDs in the hopes of snagging a couple passes to the 2019 San Diego Comic Con next July when they become available. Why should Fearsome Beard have all the fun?

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Old Habits Die Hard

While I have moved to the digital format for all newly issued comic books (and love it – no turning back for this guy!) I still intend on filling in some issues in my “old” print collection for series I am trying to complete (meaning I want to own all issues in the series.) Though it’s only been a few months since I stopped buying print comics, it feels like a lifetime ago.  Finding this little stash of issues I needed, on-line, getting them in the mail, opening the box, and perusing through them, brought back the rush of finding, buying, owning and reading print comics.

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It doesn’t make me regret going digital, but it does remind me that reading digitally is not the same experience. I don’t get the same visceral  reaction as holding them, smelling them, flipping through the pages. So I need to spend more time reading the classic comics I own.

Also, were comic books always this suggestive?

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No wonder I’m gay! *smirk*

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Weeking Havoc

It’s been a struggle to get through the work week (again).  I swear this job is actually killing me. (Well, not the job, so much as the people I have to work with.) But  I survived it and feel this a weekend is well-earned. It’s going to be warm and a bit muggy here, so I am considering pulling out my giraffe pool again. (I forgot to share this picture of it from the fourth of July when we inflated and filled it to soak our feet in while sipping cocktails. If you hook the hose up to his neck, he sprays water out his nose.)

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I discovered this week that these ice creams exists, but they’re not gluten free so I’ll never find out if eating them will give me super powers.

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This is the latest audiobook I’m currently enjoying on my drive to and from work. It’s read by Mr. Burroughs himself. I had previously read this (and all of his other books) but I discovered something I would never have from just reading the books: I am totally crushing on his voice.

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Anyway, back to the weekend. I tend to get up close to normal time on weekends (5:00 AM-ish) Less by choice and more because that’s when Harvey gets up – and when Harvey’s up, you’re up, too. Sometimes the hubby gets up with the dogs and lets me sleep, but its usually me. I really don’t mind. It’s often the only time out of the whole week I get to myself and I love the early morning peace and quiet. I also got to enjoy a cup of coffee on the back porch before things got too warm and sticky out.

This is my view to the left …

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This is the view to the right …

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Not too  shabby for a suburban neighborhood, eh?

And, of course, I had my source of consumable willpower.

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Plus, I had the best company a guy could ask for, although they were more interested in patrolling the outdoor patio and yard for critters and creatures than hanging on the screen porch with me.

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Saturday mornings are also my time for reading my weekly digital comic book stash:

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I’ve adjusted quite well to the digital format and don’t miss having to make a special trip to the comic store, bagging and boarding books, and having to file them away. (A lot of work when you have 10,000+ books.) Having said that, I still have about a 100 print copy issues I need to fill in my (printed) collection. As luck would have it, I got a “please come back” offer in my e-mail last night with a 25% discount code for a website from which I use to make frequent purchases. I decided to take a look  at their inventory (big mistake) and did a little damage, knocking 18 books off my want list. I am excited to get them in the mail next week and to getting a little closer to clearing off my want list.

When I have rough work weeks, my grooming goes all to hell. I barely have the energy to get up, shower, dress, and get out of the house, let alone taking the extra time and making the extra effort to shave my head and trim my beard (yup, some of us still prefer the old trimmed look…I know that’s not the new trend but then, I’ve never been accused of being trendy.)  So I was looking a bit…unshorn and scruffy this morning.

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Nothing a long hot shower and fresh razor blade couldn’t fix, though.  Ah…much better!

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I have an old college friend (and ex-ballroom, folk, and square dance partner) coming for an overnight visit, today. She’ll arrive this afternoon, and we’ll hang out and catch up a bit before heading out for dinner and  cocktails. Since she’s staying over, we’ll get more time to hang out (and have night caps, of course, since no one’s driving.) Should be fun.

Thanks for stopping by and catching up on my mundane goings on.

Hope you all have a peaceful, fun and safe weekend.

 

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Bunny Hop

If you look closely, you’ll see two rabbits sitting still and aware in my front yard, on either side of the two large bushes. (I’m sure there’s some joke here about hairy bush that escapes me.)

Rabbits love our yard, for some reason. We have to be careful when we let the dogs out in the back yard – Rita Mae in particular – lest these rabbits discover just how quick Rita Mae can run. (I found her, once, in the back yard, with a dead rabbit in her mouth. It was horrifying. I’ve convinced myself it was already dead, killed by a cat or some such, and left in our yard for Rita to find, but that may just be wishful thinking.)

Despite the danger for them, it always makes me smile when I see them, as if they’ve chosen our yard, out of all the yards in the neighborhood, in which to frolic. I always hope they are safe. I think I still feel guilty about humans’ impact on rabbits’ environment from reading “Watership Down” when I was younger.

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Picture it

I’ve begun the massive undertaking of going through thousands of digital photos, deleting the crappy, out of focus, and random ones, and editing and reorganizing the good ones.

It’s been bittersweet, revisiting happy and fun times with people I used to be friends with over the years, realizing how many have come and gone. I try to be be “happy it happened” as opposed to “sad it’s over” but there’s no denying it’s a tug on the heartstrings to realize how many people have fallen out of my life, by choice or by happenstance.

And don’t get me started on the unanticipated reminder of how much thinner I use to be. Oy!

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The secret life of pets

At the merest glimpse or slightest sound of kitchen activity, mild mannered Rita Mae sheds her everyday attire (and a full coat of hair,) dons her crimson cape and collar, and leaps into action, ready to beg for scraps and gobble treats in a moments notice.Faster than a sleeping Bull Dog…more powerful than a lethargic Maltese…able to leap Toy Poodles in a single bound…Look! Up on the couch!It’s a Bird Chaser!It’s a Plane old dog!No, It’s……SUPER-EATA!(Eat your heart out, Krypto!)

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Justice Leisure

Today was a Pass Day and Remicade infusion Day. After my 7:30-9:45 infusion, I headed home, started laundry, and relaxed with the dogs …

…while watching some of my favorite DC Comics animated movies:

Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox:

Someone changes events of the past, setting off a chain of events leading to a very different, dangerous world, torn apart by warring Amazons and Atlantans. Is the Flash’s nemesis, the Reverse Flash, to blame, or was it someone else? More importantly, can the Flash fix things before Aquaman or Wonder Woman kill what’s left of the rebellion?

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths:

There are an infinite number of Earths. On one of them, evil versions of the heroes we know use their powers to subjugate the world. Can the Justice League stop the equally powerful Crime Syndicate? If not, both Earths’ only chance may well be…Lex Luthor?

Justice League: The New Frontier:

As new Superheroes surface, they face the Fifties: End of the Korean War, the Cold War, Communism, the KKK, Paranoia, and something even more sinister seeking the destruction of mankind. Can these fledgling heroes survive the dawn of a new age and come together in time to form a league strong enough to battle the darkness that wants to end everything?

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