About Sassybear

Here’s some stuff that informs my perspective on life, the Universe, and everything:

  • I was born in 1971. I am the 4th of five children. (4 Boys, 1 Girl.)
  • I am an openly gay man.
  • I came out in 1989 in my Freshman year of College.
  • I was bullied all through Jr. & Sr. highschool because people assumed I was gay.
  • I am the adult child of a (deceased) abusive alcoholic.
  • I sang in multiple choruses through college and after.
  • I played the Trombone through High school and after. (I’m not good.)
  • I used to perform in Community Theater.
  • I like drawing and once dreamed of being a comic book artists.
  • I have been with my husband since 1997, married since 1999, legally recognized as married in NY since 2006, and Federally since 2013.
  • I was born (and currently live) in upstate New York, where I have lived for most of my life. I will no doubt live here the rest of my life.
  • The only other state I have lived in is Arizona, for 8 years, as a child.
  • My husband & I explored moving to Toronto Canada in 2009.
  • I am a comic book reader and recently switched to digital comics.
  • I work full time and have been with the same Employer since 1998.
  • I went to College, but did not graduate.
  • My second boyfriend tried to kill himself.
  • I am polyamorous – I know it is possible to sincerely love more than one person at a time.
  • I am a naturist, but hate my body.
  • I love animals and currently have 2 dogs, both rescues, that I adore.
  • I have had pet mice, fish, cats, rabbits, and ferrets.
  • I’ve had one dog euthanized – it was the worst loss I have ever experienced.
  • I crochet a little, and knit even less, but like doing it.
  • I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in 1999.
  • My entire large intestine was removed in 2000.
  • I have Raynaud’s Syndrome, Crohn’s disease, & Gastroparesis.
  • I have developed a Gluten Intolerance.
  • I spent part of every day in gut pain or gut discomfort.
  • Despite all my digestive issues, I am a compulsive eater and struggle with obesity.
  • My favorite cocktail is the Cosmopolitan.
  • I am a pacifist and avoid confrontation at all costs.
  • I was raised Catholic, but I am an atheist.
  • I helped create an LGBT chorus, LGBT bowling league & gay male naturist group. I am no longer part of any of them.
  • I am a “bleeding heart” liberal.
  • I am a home owner.
  • I always put my cart back in the caddy.
  • I believe black lives matter.
  • I am pro-choice
  • I support trans equality.
  • I support non-binary self identification and actualization.
  • I believe manners, civility, and decency matter.
  • I hate beets.
  • I have struggled with intense anxiety my whole life.
  • I believe I always know when I’m being manipulated or lied to. It happens a lot. I rarely call someone on it.
  • I hate my job but I’m too close to retirement (2026) to quit now.
  • I worry that, because of my poor health, I won’t live to enjoy retirement.
  • I never fully recover from betrayal, personally or professionally.
  • I don’t believe in soulmates, but somehow found mine.
  • I have lost 3 friends to suicide and still grieve their absence from my life.
  • I’d rather spend time with animals than people.
  • My favorite superhero is Green Lantern. (All of them, for those in the know.)
  • The COVID Pandemic has exposed me as a true introvert and intensified my social anxiety.
  • I believe my life, health, disposition and personality will be transformed for the better once I retire…if I survive that long.
  • I have no idea how I’ve survived life this long. It scares the living hell out of me and I still feel like a 10 year old pretending to be an adult and trying to do the right thing…and failing miserably.