Sorry I haven’t posted in so long. There have been many big directional changes in my life of late and I’ve been busy adjusting my sails to go where the wind is taking me. All is well, just a lot to adjust to.
I just read this very thought provoking article yesterday, and I have read the following words over and over:
“We have this myth of identity — that who we are is the summation of a lot of choices we made in the past. That we’ve got a map for the life we’re supposed to lead, and we’ve got to stick to it. But that’s assuming that we’re all static beings, and that’s not how people work at all.
In every moment, we’re changing and evolving and growing. In every moment, we’re reconstructing our identity. We’re not defined by our decisions from two years ago. We’re not even defined by our decisions from two minutes ago. We’re defined by who we choose to be in this very moment.
We’ll never be “figured out.” Over the course of our lives, we’ll constantly be transforming into a more and more authentic version of ourselves. Our preferences will change. Our passions will change. And we have to be brave enough to choose the thing that makes up happiest in each individual moment.”
Accepting who we are and what we want and need in our life can be a challenge, especially if our choices are unpopular or unsupported by “the masses”, whether that’s the greater society and world at large, our neighborhood, our family or our social circle. People will not always understand who we are, what we want and need, or the choices we make. But few things will bring us greater happiness, contentedness or peace than making our own choices and creating the lives we want to live in. As someone who is constantly filled with self-doubt, fear of making the wrong choices and anxiety about fitting into the world and/or what path to follow, I can tell you that nothing quiets the discord of my thoughts more, nor puts my heart at greater rest, than when I choose what’s best for me, regardless of what other’s think or society tells me. Losing others in our lives for the choices we make and the way we live our lives can be painful, for sure; but losing ourselves when we choose to ignore who we are and what we want to placate others….that is unbearable.