Be who you are, and say what you feel

Sorry I haven’t posted in so long. There have been many big directional changes in my life of late and I’ve been busy adjusting my sails to go where the wind is taking me. All is well, just a lot to adjust to.

I just read this very thought provoking article yesterday, and I have read the following words over and over:

“We have this myth of identity — that who we are is the summation of a lot of choices we made in the past. That we’ve got a map for the life we’re supposed to lead, and we’ve got to stick to it. But that’s assuming that we’re all static beings, and that’s not how people work at all.

In every moment, we’re changing and evolving and growing. In every moment, we’re reconstructing our identity. We’re not defined by our decisions from two years ago. We’re not even defined by our decisions from two minutes ago. We’re defined by who we choose to be in this very moment.

We’ll never be “figured out.” Over the course of our lives, we’ll constantly be transforming into a more and more authentic version of ourselves. Our preferences will change. Our passions will change. And we have to be brave enough to choose the thing that makes up happiest in each individual moment.”

Accepting who we are and what we want and need in our life can be a challenge, especially if our choices are unpopular or unsupported by “the masses”, whether that’s the greater society and world at large, our neighborhood, our family or our social circle. People will not always understand who we are, what we want and need, or the choices we make. But few things will bring us greater happiness, contentedness or peace than making our own choices and creating the lives we want to live in. As someone who is constantly filled with self-doubt, fear of making the wrong choices and anxiety about fitting into the world and/or what path to follow, I can tell you that nothing quiets the discord of my thoughts more, nor puts my heart at greater rest, than when I choose what’s best for me, regardless of what other’s think or society tells me. Losing others in our lives for the choices we make and the way we live our lives can be painful, for sure; but losing ourselves when we choose to ignore who we are and what we want to placate others….that is unbearable.


The shirt I am sporting in this picture is a T-shirt from the 2014 San Diego Comic-Con.


I did not attend the Comic-Con this year. I have never been to the Comic-Con, nor San Diego, for that matter. So, one might wonder, how is it that I am sporting this nifty “can only get it at the Con” t-shirt?

Because, once again, I am the recipient of amazing generosity from one of my fellow bloggers and, if I may add, someone I consider a friend-I have-yet-to-meet-in-person: Shawn, over at Fearsome Beard, who attended the Con and, knowing my…ahem…love/obsession/addiction to all things comic books, got me this shirt, along with a bag full of convention swag, and shipped it to Breen Acres. (Pop over to his blog and read more about the Con, and see his pics from the event..they are nothing short of awesome!)

Shawn has been a follower, and commenter, on my blog for years, and recently started his own blog. Shawn and I have shared e-mails and texts and we even share mutual friends. Shawn has advised me, and offered support and assistance, through the purchase of my home and the adoption of my dogs (and future dogs?). He has continued to offer words of support in some of my…darker…times, and words of encouragement and congratulations through my various struggles and successes in life over the years. It is a pleasure to have him as an “official” part of the blogging family, and to include him, without hesitation, in my circle of friends. His kindness is one of many I have benefited from, from bloggers over the years, ( that I’m are I have failed to adequately express appreciation of, although I’ve tried) reinforcing, once again, that bloggers can be some of the most thoughtful, giving, supportive and loving people to know.

I offered to reimburse him for the cost and effort, but he merely asked I pay it forward in some way. So, I look forward to a future post I will write, sharing with you all whatever I decide to do, in efforts to bring joy to another, inspired by this act of kindness and generosity.

Thank you, Shawn.  I am touched and humbled.

After A While

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

- Veronica A. Shoffstall