Just Stuff

It’s another cold rainy day here, so we won’t be going for long walks or people watching today. We plan to relax and maybe make it out to the piano bar one more time, tonight, before packing up tomorrow and heading home on Sunday.

Things on my mind:

I am grateful Roger has behaved most of the time here, but it is still a lot of maintenance and effort and supervision whenever I am out and about, and it gets exhausting. People think, because they can’t see your disability, or that you appear top be operating normally, that it is effortless and not really debilitating at all. They are wrong. Showering and prepping to go out takes a lot more effort, and there is always a low level of anxiety with Roger, even when I am having a good time and nothing bad is happening. I look forward to being Roger-free in less than a month.

These vacations are a small tastes of what retirement will be like and it make it harder to go back to work, but I am grateful we get the vacation time we do.

I usually grow more attached to people than they grow to me, and often think I have closer and stronger friendships with people than I do. It’s always disappointing to realize I am wrong.

Even when I am staying in a rented space, I treat it like my own home, so I clean it up and keep it orderly. I do dishes, make beds, empty garbage, put things away, and store my clothes and accessories neatly. It’s just how I prefer to live.

I will miss this place horribly when we leave. It really feels like home to me, after all of these decades coming here. I never tire of it.

I miss my dogs horribly and wish we could have brought them with us. Unfortunately, with Rita’s bathroom issues, we could not risk her marring this rental space with her indoor doo-doos and such.

I have random attacks of extreme irritability. They hit from out of the blue, without rhyme or reason. During these attacks, everyone and everything annoys me to no end. I have to sequester myself until it passes, lest I say or do something I’ll regret during an episode. I have had a few of these attacks here this past week. I hate them.

I am excited to find a place to display our new merman.

19 thoughts on “Just Stuff

  1. Ah yes. Life. It’s a struggle. I hope the weather is nice tomorrow and you can get out and do vacation-y things.
    I look forward to pictures of your new merman in your home. I want to know where he’s going to live.


  2. Yes, less-visible disabilities suck. Bouts of irritation also suck, but I am glad you are self-aware enough to seclude and avoid taking out that irritation on others. (I wish I had your self-control.)

    I hope you have a safe trip back home. Your dogs will be happy to see you.


  3. A long time ago, a speaker said, stop and imagine what the person is going through, you often don’t know. That message stuck with me.


  4. We deal with life as best we can. Often people wonder how I cope with being Deaf. Twin and I were born this way, it is quite normal for us. Enjoy what’s left of your holiday! 🙂 Naked hugs!


  5. All we can do is do things the best we can. I have a sister living next door that doesn’t believe in calling in sick. I worked sick yesterday to my detriment. The office had a cold (I hope) spreading around and I started feeling symptoms Thursday night.

    I’m not working today. I’m fully prepared to be yelled at by her and then telling her off. There is no crime in using sick time to get better.


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