Impatiens…close enough.

I have been cursed my whole life with impatience. I crave immediate gratification, and the thought of waiting for something, anything, is annoying to intolerable, depending on how great my desire is for whatever it is I want. It is not a trait I am proud of, but it is what it is.

Waiting is such a challenge for me. Long lines balk me. I have walked out of restaurants if the lobby was too full, movie theaters if the lines are too long, grocery stores if the checkout lanes are crazy busy, and many stores for the same reason. I will not pull into drive-through windows or car washes if the lines of cars are too long, and if I get stuck in a traffic jam, I go nearly batsh*t crazy.

Probably the worst offense is when it comes to ordering things on line. I have been spoiled by fast deliveries, and the longer I have to wait for something to arrive, the more I am likely to skip it and find something I can get faster, even if I don’t like it as much.

Case in point: We are in the process of giving our outdoor spaces a little facelift. I found an outdoor rug that I love, but it will not arrive until May 12th. It is the last item we need for our makeover, so I was not keen on waiting so long to get it. I want to be done with the set up NOW! However, Jeffrey convinced me to order the rug I wanted and just wait for it.

The waiting has been excruciating. So much so, that I have actually gone online to look for a cheap rug I can order and use temporarily until the one I really like arrives. How crazy is that? (I’ve actually managed to resist doing that so far.)

You may wonder why I don’t just drive to a local store and find one I can bring home the same day. Good question.

One. I try to avoid going out unnecessarily because I am not one of the people that believes COVID is over and I’m free to move about as much as I want, whenever I want, without great risk to my personal health. So if I can order something and have it delivered, without that unnecessary exposure, that’s my preferred way to go. (I realize my extreme isolation is probably a bit excessive at this point. I’m working on relaxing my anxiety about it and getting out into the world more.)

Two. There is always the risk of lines, which I’ve already explained I hate. And awful people.

Three. And this is a big one. I get a little obsessive about trying to find something I want, and I could wind up spending the entire day going store to store looking for what I want, wasting an entire day, a bunch of gas, adding a lot of exposure, and still wind up returning home without the desired item, dejected and unsatisfied. At least if I order something online, the only one who has to suffer is me waiting for it to arrive. (Jeffrey accompanies me on all of my must-have-right-now hunts, so he suffers when I refuse to go home and want to keep going to the next store.)

So here I sit, having an internal battle over whether I try to purchase a temporary rug or sit and wait patiently for my rug to arrive in 21 days.

The struggle is real, people.

7 thoughts on “Impatience

  1. Yes it is and it sucks. I surprisingly went to Best Buy to buy a new sound bar and subwoofer for the new TV without ordering it online and arranging for contactless pickup the other day. Otherwise, that’s how I roll.


    • We have used contactless pick-up on occasion. A few times, they got the item wrong, or it was damaged, so we had to go into the store anyway to resolve the issue, which defeated the purpose. Hence, we are reticent about using it again.


  2. I fail the marshmallow test every single day. It is no wonder I have ended up where I am.

    The best I can do when facing impatience is distraction. I have learned to tolerate lineups somewhat by listening to podcasts. I wish I was less lazy so I could practice meditation and improve my patience, but it has been over a decade and I haven’t.


    • Meditation takes too long. I want inner peace and tranquility right now! If I’m forced to stand in line, I take stealth pics of the cute guys and text them to my friends. If there are no cute guys, I just send porn.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh I wish I could help. I would wait. But that’s so easy to say. 21 days really isn’t that long (when I’m not the one waiting). It will arrive before Memorial Day. You could always order other items to be delivered every day until then… just to keep you distracted. Just remember, you’ve been without that rug all this time and the house hasn’t imploded. Serenity now!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can be pretty patient about things like deliveries. Seems I’ve had so many disappointments in my life that my philosophy now (for things like that) is “wait and see”. I order stuff and forget exactly what I ordered, so it’s a surprise when I open the packages. Sometimes. Sometimes I just want my dogwood blossom wax seal stamps. But when they finally arrived I was so happy!


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