I am consistently waking up at 3:00am every morning. May be the Prednisone, may just be my new sleep pattern. I am 50 now, after all. I do feel fairly well rested (getting a solid 6 hours of sleep each night) but I wonder what wakes me at that time. I know what keeps me awake: my brain. I have two modes – off and on. When my eyes open, so does my flow of thoughts and there’s no shutting them down.

Upon awaking, I do a mental inventory:

Health Assessment: How do I feel? Everything feel normal? Anything new hurt? Anything feel “off” or wrong? No? good!

Today’s Agenda: What’s on tap for today? I have the day off for a Remicade infusion at 8:30pm (call ahead to make sure I can still get the infusion while I’m taking Prednisone) and a 1:45pm post-hospital follow-up with my GI. (This is the big “review the test results, discuss what happened, determine what do we do now” talk. Eek.) I also need to place an order for grocery delivery and try to get some house cleaning done…company’s on the way.

The Worry Log: What issues do I need to deal with and stop stressing about? I need to schedule a dentist appointment for a cleaning. We need to call a plumber to replace some leaky bathroom faucets and fix a leaky outdoor hose faucet. We need to make some kennel and hotel room reservations for some small trips we are planning in the next month or two (knock on wood the health cooperates and stays stable.) We need to call our handyman about a bush removal and porch repair he’s been stalling on since Fall of last year. We need to call about having a permanent AC unit installed upstairs so we can discontinue having to put 2 AC units in the windows upstairs each year. (We have central air, but live in a cape style house that makes for a challenge when trying to cool the upstairs.)

The Good Stuff: What am I looking forward to? We have a small inflatable pool arriving today. I thought it would be fun to set up in the back yard as a nice way to “beat the heat” and relax in the summer. Upstate New York seems to be getting warmer and more humid each summer, and it makes it difficult to enjoy being outside in our great yard space. Hoping the pool helps counteract that. A couple shelves I ordered for the basement (aka Comic Den) should be arriving soon. These are media storage cabinets which are taller and thinner than what I have now…should make for a much better display for my superhero collectibles. We are purchasing a new living room set of modular furniture to replace our heavy dark leather ensemble. It will be smaller, lighter and adjustable (i.e. consists of 5 individual sections that can be connected in various ways to create individual seating, lounges, a bed, a sofa, and or a love seat) making for an easier rearranging of seating as company and decorating for the holidays require. (And easier to move for a couple of out of shape 50 year olds.) Very excited about this. There are big changes happening above me at work that could result in a better, less stressful working environment for me. Still holding out hope for an early retirement incentive, slim though the chance may be. We’re having a friend over for cocktails tomorrow afternoon, then the BFJ (best Friend Jim) is coming for the weekend for a visit. Woohoo!

Etc Etc: These are all the other random thoughts that pop in and out of my head like a prairie dog checking for safe egress. What will I wear to Remicade today? (Choices are limited due to my recent rapid weight loss.) When will the hideously large and ugly arm bruises (from badly muffled attempts to draw blood while I was in the hospital) fade so I can stop wearing long sleeves in this sweltering heat? What should I make for dinner tonight? Do the dogs need a bath? What can I blog about? Have the new comic issues dropped on the DC and Marvel Apps this morning? (I only purchase digital comics these days. I ran out of room for the printed copies.) What should I have for breakfast? Is it too early to start my x-mas shopping? What should I get my niece for her housewarming gift? What will happen today that will surprise me? What is that noise I keep hearing in the wall? Is the Grandfather clock time and chime off a bit? What should I get Jeffrey for his birthday (in September)? What should my next crochet project be? I haven’t played my trombone in a year. I think I might still have some of those cookies I like in the back of the kitchen cabinet. I really need to get some more exercise. I really want to put out more grass seed.

Yup, that all happens in my head while I quietly lie awake in bed. I eventually resign myself that I am not getting back to sleep and get up. I’d like to be more productive in the morning, since I’m up, but everything makes so much noise in the wee hours of the morning, especially when other humans (Jeffrey) and animals (Harvey and Rita Mae) are still sleeping. Going up or down stairs, putting dishes away, cleaning…it all seems thunderous, so I opt for sitting on the screen porch or the living room couch (depending n the temps) and scrolling through various news sights, blogs, games, and online shopping apps on my iPad, iPhone or Macbook, just waiting for the rest of the household to join me in the wakies so I can officially start my day.

But I am eager to start it…I’ve got a lot of living to do.