Hello again. Today, I turn the magical number 50 and join the ranks of so many wonderful friends and bloggers who already have their AARP cards. (And special shout out to Anne Marie, a fellow blogger I am fortunate enough to also call friend, who gave me the best birthday shout out ever!)
If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you know that I have a chronic disease and several health issues, and they have been in overdrive since January of 2021, giving me barely a days reprieve from their onslaught. This is why my posts have been few and far between. Dealing with my health issues has been the sole focus of my life lately, and although I allow myself the occasional rant about how hard it gets, I try to stay positive and not complain as much as possible. But its been especially hard this time around, and I am finding it hard to stay positive, so I’ve chosen to avoif posting for fear my blog would become a “woe is me” whine fest.
But, despite all my ongoing health issues and the accompanying risks, and after a LOT of debate and discussion, I said Fuck it and we headed to my favorite place on earth, Provincetown, MA, for my birthday. My hubby Jeffrey had already rented the condo above the condo owned by my BF and his hubby, so we loaded up the car with clothes and dogs (and a small pharmacy worth of meds and supplies) and headed to the Cape on Friday for 10 days. Although I cannot enjoy the food and drink I normally would while I’m here, I could still enjoy being in my favorite place, the fresh cape air, the company of my BF, and 10 days away from the hell-that-is-my-job. It is my hope that being here will be recuperative. So we arrived Friday and have settled in nicely to our fabulous Condo. I haven’t been able to leave the condo itself, so far, but we are on the second floor and the living room glass double doors open up to a gorgeous deck, so I have been able to enjoy the sun, fresh air, people watching, and sights and sounds of the town from the condo.
I had to miss a planned dinner out last night at a favorite local restaurant (would have been my first since the Pandemic hit) as I was not feeling well enough to go, but we joined the BF and another couple (mutual friends) downstairs in their condo afterwards, where I was surprised by fabulous birthday decorations and a delicious homemade gluten free birthday cake, baked by the BF’s hubby (an amazing cook and baker by skill if not by trade) that I was able to enjoy a small piece of. All 6 of us have been fully vaccinated for awhile, so it was our first visit sans mask in over a year. What a treat.
Honestly, it is hard to be here and not be able to go on our usual walk-abouts, enjoy the local cuisine, or share cocktails with everyone, but I am trying to focus on the fact that I was well enough to get here (It’s a 5 hour drive from home,) that my issue are manageable enough that I can still visit with friends, and that we were able to secure such a lovely space to stay in.
Turning 50 means a lot to me. The biggest pro is that, as of today, I am exactly 5 years from retirement. Woohoo. Next, I am grateful I have survived this long, despite all my health issues and, even with the recent 5 month span of constant attacks, I’m still here, fighting and struggling to get better every day. I have a good job – I hate it, BUT it pays well and provides the critical health benefits and paid time off I need – a modest but nice home, good friends, and a family made up of two amazing dogs and a husband who is my real life super-hero, caretaker, partner, cheerleader, bastion of support and encouragement, and the love of my life. My life (health issues aside) is better than I ever could have imagined, as I came from a very impoverished childhood, but managed to meet up with a great life partner, and together we worked hard to do more, be more, have more, and experience more than I ever dreamed possible. Yes, my health sucks the big one, BUT my life would be so much harder without access to the healthcare and benefits I have, and a job that allowed me the time I need to seek treatment and recover as needed throughout the past 23 years. So, while I resent my genetic lot in life, I am still able to appreciate how fortunate I am in so many other ways.
So here’s to 50. Here’s to my life, my fortune, my friends, and my family. Here’s to another year closer to retirement, another day to improve my health, another birthday filled with love, and another year of adventure and fun.
Also, a winning lottery ticket wouldn’t spoil my day in the least.