Things I will never do

Spend $500.00 to see anyone in concert.

Spend $1000.00 a night to stay anywhere.

Intentionally cause anyone pain.

Apologize for being liberal.

Become a slacker at work.

Hurt an animal.

Anything because it’s “trendy.”

Eat beets.

Sympathize with Nazis.

Justify racism.

Justify sexism.

Promote intolerance.

Fail to vote.

Pretend to be straight.

Judge others for their life choices.

Refuse to help a friend.

Lie to my husband.

Wear pink and orange at the same time.

Watch Titanic.

Take things for granted.

Betray a friend.

Forget what it’s like to struggle.

Have sex in a hammock.

Sing A Capella solo (again.)

Watch Jaws (or any Shark movie.)

Fire a gun.

Hit another human being.


Attend a church service.


Take drugs.

Win the lottery.

Make porn.

Knowingly eat gluten.

Donate blood.

Borrow money from friends.

Forget to say thank you or please.


Commit a crime.

Have children.

Own a horse.

Discover my mutant power.

Play the wild rover no more.

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14 Responses to Things I will never do

  1. Urspo says:

    What’s the matter with beets?


  2. benleander says:

    I think this is a great post to aspire to. Unfortunately, I also don’t think some of these are realistic – especially ‘lie to my husband’.


  3. Ravager619 says:

    Pink and Orange? My eyes hurt just thinking about that. That’s about as bad as wearing sandals with socks.


  4. Ron says:

    Sex in a hammock? Don’t knock it unless you tried it


  5. Deedles says:

    You had me at “eat beets”.


  6. no gay man (or str8 woman) would EVAH wear pink & orange together! a good list, dear sassy!


  7. javabear says:

    HA HA HA HA!!! I’m SO glad you won’t wear pink and orange simultaneously. That’s a horrible crime against fashion.


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