My Dogs Keep Me Fat


In an effort to get healthier, Jeffrey and I are, once again, trying to eat better and exercise every day. The food is the easy part, the exercise not so much.

Because dogs.

The dogs spend the day in our bedroom (a BIG improvement over spending the day in crates, mind you.) They have our bed, blankets, pillows, a chair, central air, sunlight, food and water. It’s a day of luxury for them – every single day.  As soon as we get home, the dogs are let out of the room and into the yard to do their business. Once we let them out, we change into workout gear and head to the basement for our daily exercise.

But the dogs will have none of it. No more than 10 minutes into our workout routine, they start circling and whining and staring at us with judgemental puppy eyes, aghast that we would choose to do anything other than pay attention to them. Harvey tries to climb on the treadmill (while its on) and/or insists on being picked up by whichever one of us is on the stationery bike. Rita circles us, then the basement, then does “threat squats” to let us know she will pee on the carpet if we don’t go upstairs immediately and let her out again, because it’s been almost 11 whole minutes since she’s been outside.  They are needy, selfish, little brats and have decided that even 30 minutes a day is too much for us to spend not catering to their every desire. It makes it very difficult to exercise for any length of time, uninterrupted.

So the next time I step on the scale at my doctor’s office…I hope they realize that every pound I’ve gained is really a pound of love for my dogs.

16 thoughts on “My Dogs Keep Me Fat

  1. OK, here’s a way to exercise and cater to their needs: get some kind of dog backpack/carrier that you can wear, put the dogs in them, carry them as you exercise. It will increase the weight and boost your exercise value. I mean, it’s an idea. Don’t know how well the pups would like it, but at least you’ll be holding them. Good luck!


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