“Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”
~ Barbara Sher
Today was a rough (work) day. On top of an avalanche of “need it yesterday” tasks, I interviewed for another promotion (yes, I just got one, but I’m eligible for this one, too), and left knowing it was not a job I wanted. I argued with myself all the way home from work, insisting I’d have to take it if it was offered, and also that I did not have to take it if it would make me miserable (I’m sure it would.) I don’t know why I berate myself for thinking “this is where I am and it is good enough.” I’ve worked hard to move up in my agency for the last 20 years and have already obtained a position higher than I ever thought I would as the manager of my current unit; and yet, I still push myself to take more exams and go for higher positions, knowing I’m perfectly content right where I am, even when I have rough days like today. I don’t want to spend the remaining 8 years, 1 month and 14 days of my work life struggling to learn brand new jobs in brand new departments for a few extra bucks a year. I feel like I’m ready to stay put and do a good job right where I am. Does that make me a bad person?