Struggle Strangle

“Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.”
~ Barbara Sher

Today was a rough (work) day. On top of an avalanche of “need it yesterday” tasks, I interviewed for another promotion (yes, I just got one, but I’m eligible for this one, too), and left knowing it was not a job I wanted. I argued with myself all the way home from work, insisting I’d have to take it if it was offered, and also that I did not have to take it if it would make me miserable (I’m sure it would.) I don’t know why I berate myself for thinking “this is where I am and it is good enough.” I’ve worked hard to move up in my agency for the last 20 years and have already obtained a position higher than I ever thought I would as the manager of my current unit; and yet, I still push myself to take more exams and go for higher positions, knowing I’m perfectly content right where I am, even when I have rough days like today. I don’t want to spend the remaining 8 years, 1 month and 14 days of my work life struggling to learn brand new jobs in brand new departments for a few extra bucks a year. I feel like I’m ready to stay put and do a good job right where I am. Does that make me a bad person?


9 thoughts on “Struggle Strangle

  1. No, it doesn’t make you a bad person at all. However, if there is a panel conducting the interviews for this new(er) position, and there are other candidates to interview, you may do yourself a favor and respectfully request that your name be removed from consideration. A brief explanation is in order and this could very well be where you state you’ve just received a promotion, are excited about the new challenges and want to fully explore your possibilities in that position. The panel will be grateful for having one less candidate to consider and impressed with your honesty. Naked hugs!


  2. It doesn’t make you a bad guy. You just understand already you’d be miserable in the higher position and don’t want to spend the next 8 years until retirement in that state.


  3. Not at all! I’m facing that myself, and I don’t want to rise any higher. When things are going right I feel very comfy where I’m at, almost as if I was meant to be there from day one. I’m with AM on this one. If you’re content where you are, stay there. You, like me, are running out the clock until it’s time to punch out for the final time. The only difference is I’m likely going to age 62 due to being single.


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