Battle Fatigue

We all fight battles in our lives, personal and professional. Some of us struggle with debt, weight, health issues, family matters, personal goals (and failures). We all have something we’re trying to fix, improve, excel at, or strive for.

Those of us with low self esteem, anxiety and severe insecurities find ourselves battling and struggling every day to earn the things we have but don’t think we deserve: good jobs, good partners, good homes, good health. Even when we succeed through our own hard work at anything, there is a taint of doubt that we don’t really deserve it, haven’t earned it, can’t do it and/or will probably f*$#@!k it up. We’re always waiting for the sky to fall, the earth to cave in, or the world to fall apart around us; and if/when it does, we usually feel it is our fault, at least partially, even if for o other reason than we expected it to happen.

Telling someone with low self esteem to get over it , stop worrying/blaming ourselves, be proud of what we’ve achieved, don’t over think things, etc.. is well intentioned, but it is no easier for us to do so than it is for no-win situation…no matter how far we get, how much we achieve, how hard we work, or how successful we are at anything, we always feel like we haven’t done enough and have to strive harder to do more, be more, be better and do better. The smallest word of praise can send us soaring (which never lasts for very long), and the smallest criticism can send us plummeting (which can take long spans of time to recover from.)

It is exhausting and, sometimes, the fatigue at battling every day to handle everything and do the best we can (especially when it never seems good enough) finally wins and we want to just quit and let ourselves fall apart. Ironically, the low self esteem that plagues us and brings us to our knees, also stops us from coming to a halt and impels us to keep going, moving forward, day in and day out, doing our best, even when we’re at our worst.

For people with these issues, battles are won and lost every hour and every day, but the war of low self esteem never ends.

6 thoughts on “Battle Fatigue

  1. You might be shocked, but I am one of those people. I constantly wonder if I’ll continue to be good enough at my job. It sounds funny, but you have to consider that when you get to where I’m at, people in entry level jobs look up to you like you’re some kind of God. I will admit it’s kind of like being one of the Guardians of the Universe at Oa, but I still wear my Red Lantern ring proudly when I don’t have to worry about typing on a keyboard.

    Thanks for that again. I should be sending something your way soon.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s