This morning, we are having a welcome back breakfast for a staff member who left our unit but had returned. The 5 senior staff members always provide the treats, and I always provide Dunkin’ Donut Munchkins, since DD is one of the few things open that is on my way to work.
However, I recently attempted to do this and, thanks to my recurring anxiety, it all went wrong:
1. I usually only bring munchkins to work if Jeffrey is driving me to work. He places the order and pays, without incident. In this particular instance, I was driving myself, and had to do the ordering and paying myself.
2. I had a preset order in my head, and planned for the entire transaction to go smoothly. When I attempted to place my order, the squawking voice in the giant box suggested I change my order to save myself money, which flabbergasted me, and caused me to respond in a very weird way, politely re-explaining my order and firmly requesting I get my order the way I placed it. As soon as the voice told me my total for my order, I realized my response was non-logical and instantly felt filled with embarrassment because of it.
3. Now a bit flummoxed, I attempted to pay for my order at the window, but incorrectly Termin the number of bills I would need to give the window clerk to get a solid Bill back, instead of singles. When she handed me my change, I responded that I thought she had total wrong and that I was expecting a different amount of change back. That’s when she confidently schooled me on the fact that I was wrong and she had given me the correct team. Once again, I was filled with embarrassment and apologized profusely for being wrong, and attempting to do math so early in the morning. Now I have determined in my head that she thinks I’m a complete moron, from the order to the payment, and there is no recovering from this for me.
4. I drove away, only to discover, once I was closer to work, that I didn’t actually get my complete order, and the order I tried so insistently to obtain, I didn’t get after it.
At that point I gave up and decided I would never go back to Dunkin’ Donuts again. It was too traumatic, and they always remember me as the fool who couldn’t or paper.
So this morning, I was all prepared to ask Jeffrey to drive me to work so that I can successfully get Dunkin’ Donuts munchkins. But I decided I had to man up, push through, and try once again to get through the order without being traumatized and getting what I ordered correct.
I did it! I did it! I pushed through my Dunkin’ Donuts PTSD and successfully ordered munchkins, paid for them with the correct amount of money, and drove away with my complete, correct order. No humiliation, no embarrassment, no bloodshed. WHEW!
(On another note, my ultrasound came out all clear, so I have to move on to some other testing to determined if my gallbladder is working correctly, and my stomach is emptying correctly. My severely reduced and restricted diet seems to be helping, and although I am not out of the woods, I am feeling better; however, I am still losing weight daily, one of the only perks that sometimes comes with IBD.)