Outgoing people with anxious minds – or minds that over think – tend to feel anxiety the most intensely, often because we don’t talk about it. And by “often” I mean never.
Our anxiety is a contrast to our big, bold personalities. Strangers would never guess it. We never know when to fight or flight, and our self-angst is maxed out. We are often the life of the party but can also be mind-numbingly introspective, questioning everything.
Our day normally goes something like this: Anxiety: Okay but what if – Me: Homie we went over this a thousand times and we totally resolved it. Anxiety: Yeah but I’ve looked at it from a new angle and there are like 15 more reasons why you should worry about it. Me: ……go on.
We’re kind of a conundrum because we love people and need to be surrounded by people to be happy, but our over-thinking and our apprehension to immediately trust someone is, in fact, what makes us very selective about who we surround ourselves with.
That might mean we’ll have lots of friends or acquaintances but very few close friends who we share our world with. But when we do, they become our entire life.
We still find it easy to talk and connect with people – we can be charming creatures and when we do choose to grace a party with our presence, we are the life of it.
But then we wake up in the morning and of course, we are over-thinking everything – Aggghhhh….what did I say to that one person that I’d rather die than act like an idiot in front of? Did I talk too much? And what did they mean by “I’ll see you soon?” What does “soon” even mean? Like soon soon? Or “soon”?
Although we are very bold and outgoing, sometimes even the smallest things can stress us out and override our nerves. Whether it’s picking up our dry cleaning, finishing a project for work or making a call to our doctor, just the thought of having to deal with it makes our minds race.
Relationships are hard, as we have to explain that we’re not insecure control freaks, we just think. A lot.
You don’t have to call us back right away when you’re out, but just know that our mind is playing out a bunch of horrible scenarios in which you’ve cheated. Or died. That’s right, if we reach your voicemail, we can’t help but consider that you might not be alive.
Even the smallest gestures make us melt. We tend to be overwhelmed very easily, so anything you do to make our life easier is greatly appreciated. Picking us up for a date, playing with our hair when we’re watching a movie, calling to see how we’re feeling or making us a cup of tea comes with the highest of thanks. We will never take your gestures for granted.
We’re hardest on ourselves, we are always gripped by the feeling that there’s more that we should be, or could be, doing in our life.
We try to trick our brain by doing as many things as we can during the day so we can fall asleep at night – HAHA what were we thinking? This is our brain’s prime time to annoy us; it won’t miss this opportunity.
We ebb and flow between wanting to be surrounded by many people, reveling in the attention we receive, to being very selective and sort of wanting to isolate ourselves to recharge and be left alone with our thoughts. Needless to say, we’re enigmas wrapped in bacon.