I have been struggling lately to find ways to avoid confrontation, reacting through intense emotion (especially hurt and anger), quick judgement and bad decisions. I am driven by emotion, tend to feel intensely, and my emotional responses have gotten me into hot water way too many times. Rather than jump on the modern attitude that there’s nothing wrong with me, everyone should and better accept me the way I am, and I can do, say, and be whatever I want (and fuck you world), I’m trying to recognize my own shortcomings and do things better. It is not easy, but it is possible.
One of the tools I am using is “find another way.” If I am angry, find another way to express that without going on the attack or storming off. If I am scared, find another way to address that instead of cowering or avoiding. If there are things or people I don’t like, find a way to avoid these things and people, rather than expose myself to them or wade into them head on and invite confrontation.
I don’t think being emotional is necessarily bad. Sometimes anger is justified, fear is necessary and feeling passionate about things is valid. But I have to admit, initially, I tend to over-react, and my emotions should be tempered by logic, rationality and civility.
I’m not perfect, but I’m trying to work on my flaws.