Measures of success

How do you measure your own success? Is it tied to your education, career, income, relationship status, home or other “measurable achievement?” Do you compare your success to others? Are you even driven by the idea of success?

I often feel I am not a successful person. I did not grow up to be who or what I thought I’d be. I don’t have any of the careers I dreamed about, the education I planned for, I don’t look the way I wanted to, nor do I live where I thought I would. Although it could be argued, I suppose, that I have had moderate levels of success with some things: weight loss, career, obtaining and maintaining a home,  I am usually very hard on myself, pushing myself to achieve more, do more and be more than I am, in the hopes of achieving some magical moment whereat I will finally feel successful.
But perspective can and often does change how I feel about my own successes. By some comparison, I could be doing a lot better with and in my life, but by other comparisons, I could be doing much worse.

In the end, I hope I feel I was a success at some things: taking care of myself, caring for my dogs, being a good partner, doing a good job at work, bringing as little harm as possible to others, and being the best human being I could be. And even if I think I could have been or done better, I hope I feel satisfied with how hard I tried.

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14 Responses to Measures of success

  1. “Are you even driven by the idea of success?” Is it weird to not be? I can’t say I’ve really been driven as to be “successful”. That word can be so loaded. I’m just happy my bills get paid, that I enjoy what I do every day, and that I get to I spend time with those I love and who love me. Maybe not other people’s definition of “successful”, but it’s not about them. 😉

    • Sassybear says:

      I think you hit the nail on the head here for me. I think that’s probably my biggest struggle: I’m not sure I have ever been driven by success in the way other people are. I just wanted to be able to provide for myself, take care of my loved ones, have a home I enjoyed being in, have dogs that I can take care of and love, have someone, either friends or a partner, to enjoy life with and just enjoy the things I do outside of work. You’re one up on me loving what you do, which I am truly envious about, but other than that, I’m good with where I’ve ended up. As far as I’m concerned, you’re one of the most successful people I know.

      • Aww… *blush*. I just consider myself… happy. 🙂

        I really hope you get a chance to get to do what you love. You’re a great artist, and I really hope you get the opportunity to focus on that in some way that would make you even more happy. It can be a scary thing to do, but so worth it in my book.

  2. Urspo says:

    Success is measured by the love we leave behind when we are gone.

  3. mandaddy says:

    Being able to hug, to smile, to give Mega hairy muscle hugs to other guys I meet in life. I judge my success in increments of how I can share my perpetual inner dilf with other guys.

  4. my continued survival (despite obstacles) is my success story.

    you? I wouldn’t change a thing! as mister rogers always said “I like you just the way you are!”

    and I’mma digging that rainbow giraffe up there!

  5. concolor44 says:

    I guess all of us have wrestled with these issues from time to time (at least anyone who has taken the trouble to examine her/his life). I know I have … and I agree with your assessment to a large measure.

  6. Ron says:

    Hey you, from my vantage you appear very successful. You’re married to a wonderful man who loves you very much. You have a comfortable home and a well paying, secure job. Everyone who meets you likes you. You’re smart, good-looking, interesting and fun to be with. I know you have concerns about your weight but I think you have an unrealistic ideal of what you should look like. Most of us are average but desire that “six-pack” image which just isn’t realistic. For instance, I was frisked recently for the first time at the airport (during my trip to Canada). They thought I was carrying “something” around my middle. I was, my spare tire. How embarrassing.
    Again, from my vantage point (which I admit is very limited) I see a person (you) of immense talent that is perhaps untapped. I guess we all have to weigh the gamble of having a job we really love and thriving against a job that is secure and will pay the bills. Unfortunately, I opted for the latter. I’ve always wondered what my life would have been like if I had followed my dream of being a fashion designer instead of working for thirty-seven years as a bank operations manager. One thing is for sure, I wouldn’t have those bank pensions. My apologies for the long comment but I did want to make the point that I think you are fabulous (as do many others).

  7. Never, ever, judge your own success by comparison with others.
    Just remember that grass has a tendency to APPEAR greener on the other side of the fence.

  8. David says:

    Success, is making myself happy and comfortable with who I am, what I do, how I impact the world. Happiness is an inside job – I strive to not let others define me, my happiness or my success.

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