Rejection

I wish I took rejection better. I’ve certainly had enough experience with it. But even at 42, my feelings are hurt easily and, even though I should know better by now, I take it very personally and fall into my usual pattern of wondering what’s wrong with me and questioning why I don’t make the cut with some people. I usually answer those questions myself with a long list of faults and flaws that lead me to wondering how I managed to establish, and maintain, any relationships in my life at all, and what the shelf life is of those relationships that are still functioning on some level.

I can be surrounded by friends and loved ones, but one act of rejection still can knock me into a self deprecating spiral.

Maybe that’s why I love dogs so much. All I have to do to feel like a #1 with them is walk in the room.

Oh well.

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11 Responses to Rejection

  1. Shawn says:

    I, my dear, hate rejection and often feel the outsider. I feel it deeply.
    Even though I am not around as often as I once was….you are often on my mind and you will always make my “cut”. So if ever you feel on the outside, think of me cause you are on my team.

  2. Sandy says:

    I understand what you mean, as so many do. My current rejections are mostly in the form of job application responses. Dozens of them, each of which used to knock me down every time I opened my letterbox or inbox. My skin has toughened, but it is still difficult, especially when it comes to something I really wanted or for which I felt I was a perfect candidate to interview. As for rejection from men, I am still bruised (literally) from my previous relationship. At this point, I really do not think I can trust anyone enough to consider opening myself up for rejection. That said, I’m happy you’re my new cyberfriend and blogpal.

  3. Ron says:

    First of all I don’t understand why anyone would reject you, you’re such a sweetheart. Believe me, it is their loss if they reject you. We’ve all been rejected at one time or another (me included) and it never gets easier no matter how old you become. But the important thing to remember is that you know yourself and you’re a pretty nice guy!

  4. if someone rejected loveable you, then it’s THEIR problem, NOT yours! you are worth knowing!

  5. Mark in DE says:

    Sorry to hear about this. Rest assured that you are A #1, top of the heap, cream of the crop, top of this list with me! 🙂 I learned this from my dog.

  6. Tony D says:

    My friend gave me a book called “The Velvet Rage”, which, even with its flaws, point out well how “shame” factors into gay men’s experience with rejection. It is not just you–but more a heightened response to culture’s judgment of gay men. My armchair view.

  7. Urspo says:

    Yes, a common phenomena < 99 wonderful reviews and one 'rejection' and we obsess over that one.

  8. jayinva says:

    I can be the same way. I think it’s a chink in our self-esteem armor. Poke that spot and it all folds inward and makes us feel like shit.

    I agree, the dogs are a perfect antidote. I started looking on rescue sites last night. Looks like I’ll take the plunge again! This time, something the size of Rita or Harvey!

    Peace ❤
    Jay

  9. javabear says:

    Many people I know do that negative self analysis. Me included. I’m getting better about it, finally. I’m working on cutting myself some slack. Jason Mraz’s song “Living in the Moment” helps.

  10. Oh, yes, dogs are MASTERS at that! If I’ve been outside for five minutes, I get a greeting along the lines of what the soldiers returning from overseas get in those tear-jerker Youtube videos.

    You have friends. You have people who love you. Please don’t forget that.

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