Make Me Lose Control

My life has felt a bit…out of control…in the last year or so. Despite some very wonderful things happening, (new home, new dogs, new relationships) I have lost focus on many things: my career, my health, my art, my blogging, etc.

In an effort to feel more grounded and in more control of my present and future, I have taken steps to be pro-active in the areas which I can affect positive change. In this vein:

I have mapped out a plan for a new gallery showing featuring my nude male pencil illustrations. I have the model(s), the images I wish to draw, (I am, however, willing to consider additional submissions if any of you feel like dropping trou, snapping an artistic pose and sending it to me with permission to render you in pencil and display you on a wall in public) the number of pieces I’m shooting for and a general time frame it will take me to get it done. I am in the process of developing better habits for making time to draw and complete projects.

I have started crocheting again. This hobby brings me a lot of pleasure and I have no good reason why I stopped doing it. I have just completed a project I started last year that is for a friend, and have plans to make several rainbow and bear pride striped hats and scarves, possibly to sell, if there’s interest, or just as gifts if there isn’t. I also hope to continue with my granny squares for my first afghan. Mittens and slippers may be in my near future, as well.

I/we have made some changes in the house décor and I’m very happy to be back on the home-improvement wagon after months of stalling. I hope to do some more painting, more purging and rearranging, and I am also excited to be rebuilding our holiday decorations with a whole new color pallet.

We sat down and looked at our finances last night. No real revelations there…just reaffirmed that we’re following a plan that is working, however tedious and slow it is. Not much tweaking can be done to free up cash for more frivolous and fun at this time, but it’s always good to see the hard numbers in black and white and for increased awareness as to where we are and where we’re going. We don’t have much left after bills, but we can pay our bills so who am I to complain?

I started back at the gym this morning. Few things bring me greater joy, self-confidence, happiness and sense of accomplishment and self-pride than to lose weight, work out, and like how I look and feel. The happiest day can be destroyed by stepping into the closet and having to hunt for clothes that still fit, or stepping on the scale to see yet more ground lost. It will take me some time to get back into shape and shed the weight I’ve gained, but every journey begins with the first step and I’m thrilled to be back on track as of this morning to a healthier, happier, less-hefty me.

Finally, I am making a greater effort to blog consistently again. This has been one of my most disappointing slacks and I have missed ranting on a daily basis. Probably have little to share, so my content may be weak, but plan to hear more from me on a regular basis. I’ll do my best to entertain you in whatever way I can and the law will allow.

Here’s to being back in control…or at least some semblance of it.

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10 Responses to Make Me Lose Control

  1. Buddy Bear says:

    I wouldn’t mind send you a nekkid pic or two … for artistic purposes, of course. But I don’t think I have your e-mail address anymore.

    tj_1905@hotmail.com

  2. Kyle Leach says:

    Sean, everyone needs to slack off every once in a while. Order isn’t the natural state of the universe. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just stay centered as long as you can and bring things into your life that challenge and make you happy. You have a plan to get back on track and that is all anyone can ask.

  3. Shawn says:

    I love it when you blog!
    and gymming is quite good for you, plus there is usually eye candy!

  4. Sometimes we just have to “reboot” ourselves a little. And it looks like you’ve had one of those moments.

    And… I can’t believe I’m asking this, but what kind of artful pose would you want?

    • Sassybear says:

      I’d like full nudes, but posed in any way you feel comfortable. Other than that, pose and photograph away. I actually have one of you, that I hope to work on ( with your permission.)

  5. justajeepguy says:

    I’m glad that you’ll be blogging more frequently again – miss you. I’m very jealous of all your creativity and passion, two things missing from my DNA. You do remind me of my friend from grad school. After trying to do everything she wanted, she learned that with her focus and energy divided so much, she couldn’t get anything done or done to her level of expectations. What she did was decide what were her top goals and which endeavors would help her best reach them. Of course there were a few things she couldn’t do without so they became fixed while other interests were variable.

    What most stood out for me in this post, and was a surprise, was how working out and eating made you feel so good. I always got the impression that it was more of a stress inducer then a positive experience. I would make working out your top goal and #1 variable priority. By being successful here, I would think it would make achieving you other goals easier and more successful.

    Good luck.

  6. Buddy Bear says:

    I’m glad to hear that you have such a positive plan of action. Congratulations! I wish you all the best!!

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