Life never ceases to surprise me:
I could not have even fathomed prior to our trip to Provincetown in December of last year that we would be ready, willing and able to purchase a house this year, let alone actually do it and so quickly. Everything about this experience has been a surprise and a stark reminder that you just never know where your path may lead you. It also proves that there isn’t always a shoe waiting to drop. As we count down to the big day (16 days until closing) we find ourselves brimming with excitement and anticipation of the new home we will put together and the life we will have there. Our home is as much a part of our life as our marriage and our friends, and to find one that seems to fit like a glove and match all of our needs and expectations seems surreal. But we accept the serendipity of it all and are grateful that we are in a position to do this, although we credit ourselves for the hard work and sacrifices we made to get here, to.
On a brighter note, I reconnected with someone (whom I never intended to lose touch with in the first place) and, despite being a short and sweet interaction in the midst of a fun but loud and chaotic bar night, he managed to remind me who I am or want to be and in a few words helped me make some decisions to return to blogging the way I once did: candid, honest and open, damn the consequences. (This entry, in fact, is the beginning of my return to my pre-rebooted blogging days.) I look forward to redeveloping my friendship with him, as there is much he and I need to discuss; and I look forward to returning to being the blogger I once was.
Some other things have happened in my life, recently, that have shed light on parts of me I always suspected existed but never explored, perhaps out of fear; perhaps out of confusion. However, the older I get and the more I explore who I am and what I want from life, the more I understand that my potential and capacity for experiencing all that life has to offer are almost limitless. I have also realized that, despite my desire to cast off the shackles of preconceived notions of who and what I should be, I find myself still trying to fit into certain concepts and roles that just don’t fit me and never will. This also reinforces the amazing relationship I have built with my husband, who’s ability to support me, understand me, encourage me and trust me is so far beyond anything I thought one person could be or do for another. By trusting and believing in who we are and what we have, I have freed myself to soar to new heights as a human being and discover things I never knew were there, let alone thought to look for. I am not intending to be so cryptic, but what I’m referring to is less important than the lesson it teaches: we will never fully know who we are and what we’re capable of until we stop letting others define and limit us and start trusting ourselves to explore who we are and want to be, without hesitation. Coming out as who I am apparently going to be a lifelong process.
Let the journey continue…