Well, the antibiotics seem to be having some effect. My fever is way down, not usually going higher than 99.8 at it’s worst, lately, but staying below 99. My night sweats have pretty much stopped but my energy levels are still dismal, although I’m definitely “up and around” a bit more, if mostly just around the house. I did make a brief excursion out, as a test run, yesterday, to see Green Lantern. By the time I got home I was totally spent and was in bed the rest of the evening, which is where I have been most of the rest of the weekend. I tried to finish up some small organizing projects in my office, left undone due to the onset of my illness, but that was too much for me. Jeffrey continues to be the super-husband and caretaker, waiting on me hand and foot and handling all chores, shopping and life incidentals. A few friends visited, but the visit left me exhausted and a little depressed. It’s always hard to see friends when I’m in this state, even thought it was good to see them as well. I know they all care and are concerned, it’s just hard to retell the same medical woes over and over, to be reminded of all the life and events I’m missing. I don’t feel like myself and I am most comfortable shutting everyone out for the duration.
There is some new news, good and bad, since last I posted, as well. I went to the urologist on Friday on a suspicion that my urethral strictures were coming back and I was correct. He also discovered I had a urinary tract infection, which certainly would explain the fever, although not the cough. The antibiotics I’m already on will treat the UTI, so he did not prescribe something new, but he is bringing me back next week to take an internal look at the strictures. (I have to wait until the UTI is gone.) I don’t know if the UTI is the sole infection and reason for the majority of this, but, as I said, there has been some improvement. I will still see the Infectious Disease Specialist on Tuesday and see what he thinks about all this.
I also suspect I may have a blood clot in my right leg. I had one there before, the last time I was in the hospital, and I have the same bruised, sore feeling I had that led me to complain in the hospital and resulted in an ultrasound which discovered the clot. As both Jeffrey and I have had clots in the past, we have compression stockings at home so I have taken to wearing them as a precaution until I can talk to the doctors about it. Yup, when it rains it pours and I’m really starting to drown in all this.
On the advice of an Ottawa home mold inspector, I did not get myself admitted to the hospital and we bought some home mold test kits to put around the house to check for mold. (Leave no stone unturned, right?) I see the IDS on Tuesday so I just have to make it another day or so before I can get more input on this. More than the physical hell this is putting me through, the toll it is taking on my psyche is not good. I am completely on edge, a total bag of nerves, and have no patience for anything. Every little thing sets me off, I am critical of everything and everyone and my resentment about the situation continues to grow. I sleep, but my dreams are not pleasant and I rarely feel rested. I feel like I’m losing myself in this and I keep wondering how far down the hole I will fall before I am able to halt my descent and start climbing out of it. I want my health back. I want my life back. I feel so helpless, because I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel…and I’m growing very afraid of the dark.