We were discussing my upcoming 40th birthday in May. I said it was weird to be turning 40 when I still felt like a 16 year old playing grown up. She suggested that perhaps it was because I never felt the need to take life too seriously and have never forgotten how to have fun and that is what keeps me looking and feeling younger.
That made me realize that maybe videos like the one I posted yesterday are a necessary part of my life: too often life knocks the wind out of my sales and tries to crush my spirits. Friends turn on me, my body betrays me, finances balk me, work gets to me, my insecurities well up and life just overwhelms me.
It is not just enough for me to survive all of that that: I must rebel against it. I must take all that life throws at me and refuse to buckle and stay down. Eventually, I have to laugh and sing and dance. I have to run naked through the woods and sip cosmos until I’m silly, to sing karaoke songs off key and poke fun at myself and all my stupid foibles. I have to eat that plate of cookies sometimes and flirt unabashedly, embrace my sexuality and flaunt it and all my liberal ideas.
I have to because that is what keeps me happy to be alive and want to live through the next heartbreak or hospital stay. That is what makes me want to live to see retirement. That is what helps me get out of bed and pay off my debt and go to the gym and make my doctor appointments. That is what makes me want to make new friends and invest in the ones who stick around. Those are the great moments of life I remember and want to experience again.
So maybe a bald, homely, middle aged fat guy like me with a bad voice should not sing shirtless on a video and then post it to my blog. But I watch that video and can’t help thinking “Damn that was a whole lot of asinine fun.”
And if life isn’t fun for me, then what the hell is the point of living?
So please know, fellow bloggers, that when I throw the gauntlet of challenge for you to do a similar video, it’s not because I want you to necessarily publicly expose your own inanity for my (and others’) amusement (although I do encourage it). It’s because I sincerely want you all to remember what it’s like to be that carefree kid again that knew how to have fun and get silly and giggle and hadn’t yet learned to be ashamed or embarrassed for doing it. Record it, even if you’re the only person who ever sees it and when things get tough and dark and you feel old, watch it again and remember that person is still there inside of you, just waiting for permission to come out.
Come on…I double dog dare you!