It is regretful that anyone has to be sick… that we can’t at least find a cure or symptom-masking treatment that will return us to “normal” daily living. However, we can’t stop living, loving, or being loved just because our health issues are inconvenient, stressful, or even overwhelming. One of the points I appreciated in the movie was that a possible negative future was presented to Jake’s character by a man whose wife has been ill for many years. It appeared that Jake may have truly considered what that man said. Jake could have responded by staying away from Anne’s character once she told him to leave, and probably have felt no guilt because that was her decision. [I believe the characters names were “Meg” and “Jamie”.] However, Jake loved her and realized that he didn’t want to face life without her. There are plenty of people and movies that use the word “love” to mean virtually nothing beyond this brief moment. However, love is not meant to be merely a passing moment of happiness. Love is a verb. To love someone is to long to be part of their life in a way that enriches them – and ideally, yourself as well. Real love is “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health”. While many will only consider Anne’s needs and the burden those needs will likely put on Jake, it is also important to consider Jake’s needs. Jake loved Anne and because of that love needed somewhere deep inside himself to be with her. Who is Anne to decide that Jake should not be allowed to love her? The story wasn’t all about her. It was also about Jake. They both had parts to play and lives to live.
I love Sean, and his health issues are issues we deal with the best way we can. I don’t love him because he has health issues. And I certainly don’t love the health issues themselves. It is utterly wrong that this amazing man has been so unfairly afflicted. Sometimes I react by crying, or wishing I had someone at which to yell. Sometimes I want to withdraw, or to binge eat. It really sucks! However, Sean is a wonderful, beautiful person, and my life would be greatly diminished if I could not share it with him. While some may say I only try to carry him out of duty, that’s not at all true. It is my desire and honor to carry him when he cannot walk on his own, and to walk beside him hand-in-hand when we are able. In a million little ways he carries me too, although I doubt that he realizes it. Our relationship is not a one way street, with all of the work of love going in one direction. The miracle and greatness of our relationship is that, despite the various issues we both have, and despite the pain-in-the-behind we can both be, we still choose to love each other day after day and are both enriched as a result.
Thank you for sharing your life with me, Sean. I love you.