I seem to finally be on the mend and feel so much better today physically and mentally. Unfortunately, I did not feel quite well enough to join some friends on a day trip to NYC , that we had planned, to go to the Gay Expo, yet another adventure I’ve missed out on thanks to my lovely health issues, but what are you going to do? I just seem to have “moped out” and, despite wishing I was on a train with my buds, I’m in relatively good spirits. Maybe it’s just having the energy to get up, showered and out of the house that has me almost smiling.
As a consolation prize, in lieu of a trip to the city, I’m going to attempt to drive to and park downtown and meet some friends for the St. Patrick’s Parade that is taking place today and give the hubby a day to himself at home and me some social time out and about, as cabin fever hit hard today with the warmer weather. If it’s too crazy downtown, I’ll find a place to sit and sip coffee and crochet, which brings me to my epiphany of the week:
I am working on a rainbow scarf to match my rainbow hat. I discovered I had miscounted my rows and the scarf, despite three colors and a couple hours in, was crooked and lopsided. I grew quite frustrated by the sloppiness of it all and stubbornly tried to push forward and say “Fuck it!” but knew how unhappy I’d be with it when I finished so, as painful as it was to go backwards, I unraveled a couple hours of work and started again, carefully counting and methodically crocheting. The scarf is now looking better than it did when I first started it.
I guess sometimes you just need to unravel when things have gone awry. Even though it seems you’ve come undone, once you find your footing and get back on track, what you rebuild in yourself and move forward with after you’ve done it, may wind up being, albeit different, better and more well constructed than where you were before. Always moving forward, changing, growing, learning, hopefully for the better. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall or get knocked down, as long as you keep getting back up again.