>Send in the clowns


Sorry I’m not jumping on the bandwagon with the latest meme going around, but the last one I half-assedly sort of joined in on resulted in me getting chastised, something I wasn’t in the frame of mind to handle well, and it kind of killed any desire I have to join in on group blogger fun for the foreseeable future.

I have had a rough 2 weeks health-wise. I went from a bout of strep throat last Thursday-Sunday to some undiagnosed cold/flu like that started Monday and seemed like a combination of a stomach bug/ low level flu-ish thing: headache, chills and intense lethargy. Then, yesterday, I went to the eye doc due to irritated, red, glassy eyes and was diagnosed with Blepharitis. (I know, right? Can you think of a less appealing name for a condition?) I’ve previously had, in my eye or eyes, Conjunctivitis, Iritis and Episcleritis, so I guess this just adds to my list of “eye itises.” Seriously, I was beginning to wonder if this was it and I was literally going to fall apart piece by piece. Today is the first day that it hasn’t been painful to drag myself to work…at least physically. I still feel weak as a kitten and tired, but the bone deep exhaustion seems to be lifting some. Needless to say, I have not been to the gym once during this period, since sitting up at work all day took every ounce of energy and willpower I had and I have barely made it home to crawl into bed and sleep until morning for the past week. Uggh!

There may be a psychosomatic/physiological aspect to some if not all of it. A couple more “friendships” recently, finally died after floundering for some time (their choice to end them as opposed to fixing them, not mine); the winter has become a constant thorn in my side and continues to kick my ass (I swear I can’t remember the last time I felt truly warm or dry) and, after much soul searching and internal struggle, I asked our housemate to move out at the end of March as opposed to staying until the end of July, as originally planned There are a lot of reasons, many of which are private and personal, but it was a decision we came to and a choice we felt we had to make and I’m hoping we will all make it through and past this decisions as friends. I don’t regret the decision, but feel bad about it none the less. I will just say that sharing my home with someone for 9 months is far more taxing than I ever imagined it would be.

In the plus column, I bowled better last Sunday.

For the record, I had actually hoped to be more whimsical today. I decided I would give a shot at trying to be more humorous in my posts, as I enjoyed writing my post yesterday and it seemed to have been received well. I tend to use humor as a therapeutic ploy to get me out of slumps or past bad times (“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”). Unfortunately, as I was passing through the first toll booth on the way to work this morning, contemplating what I would write about, I became part of a near parking lot as traffic was inching past a car that had flipped on its side into the meridian and was surrounded by cop cars. I have not been able to get the image out of my head and have been obsessing about it all day: How and why did it happen? Who was in the car? Were they hurt and killed? What if that happened to me or someone I cared about? It really shook me up and has depressed me all day.

Tomorrow is my pass day. I am hoping that getting to stay home and working on some art work and crocheting will be good therapy, physically and mentally. And if that doesn’t work, there’s always cosmos…

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7 Responses to >Send in the clowns

  1. cb says:

    >I hope you are feeling better, slugger!

  2. wcs says:

    >Spring is on the way (I mistakenly typed "sprink." I wonder what that means?).Whatever happens, I'm sure that housemate is eternally grateful for the generosity and compassion you and Jeffrey showed him.Buck up, me hearty! Hey, it's not even Talk Like a Pirate day and I'm talking like a pirate. Next thing you know, I'll be walking like an Egyptian…

  3. Robin says:

    >If it puts your mind at ease and helps to get any disturbing visions out of your head, I can tell you that I am a claims adjuster, and more often than not, the injuries sustained in a crash are usually minor to moderate, and fatalities are a rare occurrence.With the technology used today in vehicles for safety, not to mention the design of a vehicle to minimize the transfer of damage into the passenger compartment, people are often walking away without a scratch. Surprisingly, what might look like a horrific accident, is just a crush zone collapsing, and doing the job it was designed to do. The days of "frame damage, my vehicle is totaled," are long gone. Unibody's are meant to be sectioned and replaced. Sleep tight and feel better! Nice to know you are such a caring person. 🙂

  4. aj67star says:

    >Keep on working on my hat!

  5. Jim says:

    >I bet I know what would cheer you up!

  6. anne marie says:

    >cosmos are good for what ails ya!smooches!

  7. >I wish I lived closer to be there for you. Hate to see you struggling. I can relate. I had a friend live with us for 3 months and it was more difficult than expected. Cost me his friendship. Hang in there.

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