>Ass Wednesday


I have been informed that today is Ass Wednesday by many people and I’ve been asked if I’m “giving it up” for 40 days. I have no idea what they’re talking about so I did a Google search and found nothing. Still, the concept intrigues me: A day to celebrate the ass and an extended period of time during which we’re encouraged to be promiscuous, so I decided to create my own celebration.

I will spend the day checking out guys’ asses while I work to try to make ends meet. Then, tonight, I will have friends over for an ass themed meal:

  • Tossed salad
  • Buns
  • Porkbutt
  • Rumproast
  • Donkey

The donkey will be prepared and eaten with nothing removed. It seems appropriate we eat the ass whole. We will get drunk on Rum (because it rhymes with “bum”) and make asses of ourselves. We will crack jokes and tell lies that prove we are all full of shit. I will have door prizes (butt plugs) that I will indicate are only for those who can bottom-up their Rum shots fastest, but the truth is, every one will get one in the end.

At the end of the night, we will moon each other and end the evening.

Tomorrow, I will begin my 40 days of promiscuity and “give it up” to anyone who asks.

I’m so excited!

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11 Responses to >Ass Wednesday

  1. Will says:

    >40 days of promiscuity — Oh to live in the greater Albany area during the horny season!

  2. RG says:

    >Wait until Easter when you can have Roast Leg of Lamb of God and Mary Magdelin tarts for dessert!

  3. Jim says:

    >So Sean… when are you coming to Dallas then?

  4. Ur-spo says:

    >You continue to have one of the wittiest minds I know in blog land.

  5. Robin says:

    >I think your post hilarious and fun loving, even though I am one of "those" people walking around with ashes on my head. My faith is very important to me, but I also try to keep things in perspective. Thank you for a place where we can all come together and have some fun.

  6. anne marie says:

    >you go, darling! today doesn't mean shit to me. and I ain't a-giving up anything; I want everything that's coming to me!

  7. Raybeard says:

    >Wish I'd had the sense to take the piss out of Lent when I was young. My biggest 'fun' (ha ha!) was to go to Mass at 6 a.m. before school and receive Holy Communion on every one of the 40 days. That was a real bundle of laughs! Still, it did make me FEEL good, sanctimonious little bugger of 14 years old that I was! Your antidote sounds far more sensible and worthwhile – AND you needn't go to confession afterwards, though it's a pity that you'll be depriving the absolving Father of an orgasm or two as you'd relate to him your Lenten activities.

  8. D@vid says:

    >ROTFL… very funny. As far as Ash Wednesday… I think the Christians putting ashes on their foreheads just makes it easier to spot the hypocrites. Thanks for the laugh.

  9. Writer says:

    >So where are you? I'd like to come toss your salad during your 40 days of giving it up.So, IS today Ash Wednesday? I've yet to see anyone walking around with crap on their foreheads.

  10. Nick says:

    >I know it as Hump Day…no way I'd eat an animal or get drunk but I'd come for the butt plugs 😉

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