>Mind over Matter


My brain is on fire with thoughts and emotions that I long to express, but every time I try to translate it all into written word, I do an abysmal job. I have started typing a post umpteen times today and deleted it because, despite typing what I thought I was thinking, it doesn’t read back properly at all and fails to convey the message I want to get out or portray the proper flavor of emotion. My mental nuances and acuity are lost when put to paper (or the electronic equivalent thereof.)

Suffice it to say, I continue to be baffled, frustrated and disappointed by people; continue to wonder why so many others seem far less impacted by the negative actions of others than I am; and struggle with whether I am being too lofty with my expectations of the people I choose to let into my life.

I wish there was a pill I could take that would make me care less about, react better to and lower my expectations of, others. Then things and people wouldn’t bother me so much and I could skip away easily like so many others, nary a care dragged along behind. I want to not mind things as much, I want things to matter less and I want to know what it’s like to not take everything so personally and feel it so deeply.

Bottom line: I’m tired of being me and I desperately want to be someone else. I need the rest.

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11 Responses to >Mind over Matter

  1. Cubby says:

    >The solution lays right before you. Instead of writing a blog post, make a vid. Just talk. Ramble. Blather on. We want to know what's on your mind, even if you think it's incoherent.

  2. >I'm with D@vid "First thing is not to be so hard on yourself."I think you're pushing yourself too much to be "a good person" as you expect yourself.

  3. Ur-spo says:

    >SSRI are very good at 'numbing up' and not caring.but I suppose that is not the point.I think you need a retreat, and shake up, and perhaps a good foot rub as well. When I grow tired of myself, I watch some Marx Brothers; Horse Feathers should do you good.

  4. RG says:

    >Man, do you EVER need to smoke a joint and relax. Perhaps with a nice massage thrown in too might help.

  5. Buddy Bear says:

    >I agree with D@vid: you always express yourself beautifully with the written word.It's long been my view that it is impossible to change the behaviour / attitudes of other adults, so why even worry about what others do? If their views are that terrible, just remind yourself, "What goes around, comes around."

  6. D@vid says:

    >I think you're doing a fine job… of writing… of translating mind to 'paper'… and of being a decent human being. First thing is not to be so hard on yourself. 🙂

  7. Ron says:

    >Be yourself. Unless you're really a bad dude, that will work. Don't try to be something or someone that others expect you to be. You must be liked and loved for who you are for your own happiness and contentment with life. Take it from me, a person with a LOT of experience with life and people. I know. I learned the hard way. The old adage "Be true to yourself" is actually true.

  8. Greg Ohio says:

    >I always think a chest to chest naked hug is a close second to a back to chest naked hug. Those simple things always lift my spirits and clear my mind!

  9. Sue says:

    >I used to feel the same way. But once you get old enough, you realize that life is way too short to worry overmuch about what other people are doing. That helps you to keep things in perspective. A few close calls with death help too. But daiquiris are a more fun way to go about it. http://fairviewsue.wordpress.com/

  10. Breenlantern says:

    >ADITL: I don't know what a "strawberry daiquiri" is a euphemism for, but if you're delivering, I want one ;-)*snicker*

  11. >Sounds like you need a strawberry daiquiri.

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