If I had one word to describe me this week, it would be frustrated. From the onset, I have been devoid of any energy, enthusiasm, willpower, or spunk. It has been a Herculean struggle and effort to get up in the morning, get ready for work and to head out into the dark and cold and focus on being productive. Every task, no matter how minor, seems to be overwhelming and I found myself asking over and over again this week “What’s the point? Why should I care?” about everything.

It hasn’t helped that the husband has been out of sorts and in similar spirits. He has a mysterious malady that, although not preventing him from functioning, has worried him all week and had him a bit on edge. He has been to see the doctor and is waiting for results from testing he had done. We are hoping it’s just a virus of some kind. We are usually good at balancing each other but this week we have both been the downtrodden and dispirited, so we were unable to provide the cheery disposition and positive support we normally do when the other is off kilter.

Not being one to just give in to such moods and maladjustment, I sought out other means of making my week more pleasurable and was stymied at every turn. Plans went awry, projects failed and I felt the tension and frustration growing moment by moment. I did, however, come across a comment that, when things seems bleak now, find something positive in the future to focus on, and that’s what I did. Pleasantly enough, some good things came out of it:

I worked on the design for our Team T-shirts for The Blowouts, as bowling begins again on Sunday, something I have missed very much. That weekly dose of camaraderie is a huge boost. The design came out great, if I do say so myself (I design, pencil and ink it by hand, then scan it and color it on the computer.) Of course, as is this week’s wont, I hit a road block when I tried to print the logos for ironing on the T-shirts and realized I was out of colored ink. Arrgh!

We finalized registration and plans to attend a GLBT bowling tournament in Wallingford CT in February for Valentine’s weekend with our friends (and teammates for the event) Matt and Patrick. This will be our (Jeffrey’s and mine, anyway) first tournament outside of our normal weekly bowling. We are very excited about it. I started working on designs for shirts for that event as well.

I got some more crocheting done.

I swallowed my insecurities and fears, took a huge leap, and signed up to do a one man gallery showing in April 2011 at the local GLBT community center gallery. I have a few pieces already but I need to work on some new stuff between now and then, I now have a time line and a requirement to produce new artwork. Aaaaggggghhhh! What have I gotten myself into?

I did some research into spin classes that are held at my gym at times I can attend and now have a list of days and times. Now I just need to get there.

I managed to adhere to my calorie count 90% of the week and I think…I THINK…I may see a lower number on the scale when I weigh in on Monday, assuming I don’t blow it this weekend.

Finally, a special nod to Alan. He knows why.

So, there you go. I’ve done my best not to let the week be a total waste and drag. I leave early today for an Eye exam so I can finally order more contacts (!*!%$&^%$#!!?! 1 year expiration date on contact prescriptions!) Tonight we will be hanging out with some good friends of ours for a movie and cocktails at their place and I can not think of a more pleasant thing to look forward to, to end the crappy week and start what I hope will be a great and much needed weekend.

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8 Responses to >Frustration

  1. >Practice Yoga to regain energy, Sean.Have a nice weekend!

  2. anne marie says:

    >"a one man gallery showing in April 2011" – FUCK YEAH! WAY TO GO! WOO HOO!you can do it, darling! smooches!

  3. Mark in DE says:

    >Earlier this week I was feeling like you and I called it the Post-holiday blues. Fortunately it only lasted a day for me and then I was back to normal.Congrats on the gallery show! I'm VERY impressed. 🙂

  4. Breenlantern says:

    >Nik: I'll post pics of my pre-existing pieces I plan to show, and then any new ones I do. I do primarily male nudes and super hero/sci fi illustrations, but I may branch out a bit for this upcoming show…

  5. Nik_TheGreek says:

    >I hope everything is OK with the husband. Congratulations on the gallery thing. Can you please show us your work? I don't think I'll be able to make it…pretty pleaseeeee

  6. AJohnP says:

    >You WILL have a great weekend, and next week will be much better than this week was…I just feel it. 🙂

  7. Breenlantern says:

    >Alan: Ummm…you have 4 months to plan to get here and see it in person. if I'm famous some day, you'll wish you'd been here for my first solo show…I'm just saying. You could stay at Chez Breen…the guest perks are unbeatable 😉

  8. Alan says:

    >Wow! A one-man gallery show… That's very exciting…and very brave of you!! Wish I could see it in person.

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