>Rut-a-tut-tut

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I wish I had more to say that I felt worthy of recording as a post, but I’m afraid my current daily rut does not make for interesting brain fodder.

I still have the Spo shirt (sorry) and have some pictures so that will be a post soon (this week?) although it will be a far less exciting one than the one I had hoped to do, since I got it right at the tip of the holiday season, so having a day/evening to just disappear for the day with the shirt and the camera is so not happening. I had to settle for pictures mostly at home with me doing all the things I love doing…well, maybe not ALL the things.

We are fully decorated and creeping towards our holiday party this weekend. I don’t think we’ll plan one again next year. The holidays are just too busy and more than half the people we invited can’t come or had to cancel for various reasons. I will enjoy my time spent with the people who can come, for sure, but I won’t lie and say I’m not disappointed about the friends who can’t make it, although I understand.

We have decided not to send out holiday cards this year. It’ll be the first year I have not sent or given cards. I hope people won’t be offended or upset. As I said on my FB wall yesterday, my friends will just have to make time to see me if they want a warm personal holiday greeting.

We are also, for the first year, not buying a single gift for anyone, including each other. It’s mostly a financial decision, as we have no credit cards to use, live on cash and have nothing in savings to tap into for such frivolous things as non-essential holiday gifts. Our holiday party is our gift to our friends (those that can make it) and we may bake some cookies/treat trays for family and possibly make some homemade holiday CDs of fun, non-traditional holiday tunes, but that’s about it. Nothing purchased.

Family issues are already cropping up about the holidays. I am trying to find a happy compromise between spending time with them (something the family wants and we don’t) and spending time on our own alone or with our friends (something we want and the family doesn’t.) I am tired of this battle every year and it just adds to my pile of things I despise about this time of year. It is my sincere hope that the day comes when we can afford to disappear for two weeks in December to someplace far away and avoid the whole trauma-inducing mess. Someplace warm with nary a tree or tinsel in sight.

I (believe I) had noted last year that, for the first time, I thought I was being noticeably affected, emotionally, by the seasonal cold and dark, (aka S.A.D.) something that never seemed to impact me in the past. I am assuming that is what is responsible for my current on going melancholy-almost-depressed state of mind. I am going through the paces (decorating, work, spending time with friends, making plans, blogging, etc.) but, truth be told, I just want to curl up in a ball at home in my room and hide away from the world until things get brighter and warmer and this damnable holiday season and winter is over and behind us.

I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday. I had some blood work done recently to test my liver and the numbers don’t look good so I find out what that means for me and the meds I’m currently taking. I’m hoping I don’t have to return to prednisone.

My hair has been slowly growing back as I cut my head shaving 2 weeks ago and don’t want to shave it again until it’s fully healed. Yesterday, I wore red (a color I don’t usually wear unless it’s my Wonder Woman or SHAZAM! T-Shirt.) Something about this combination (hair and red) seemed to have sparked the interest of a several men yesterday, as I couldn’t help noticing some eyeballs and heads turn my way as I passed by during my lunch walk. This is a rare phenomenon for me, to be noticed by other men in any setting, and it may have been that they disapproved of my look, not appreciated it, BUT, given how skeptical I am that I ever get any attention and given that I never assume someone’s looking at or attracted to me, you know how blatant and obvious it must have been for me to say that I KNEW they were looking at me. I’ll pretend it was because I was working the hair and the red like nobody’s business. I wonder what would happen if I actually had red hair.

You know what would REALLY cheer me up? A flash mob. I’d prefer to be part of it, but would be happy just to witness it. Nothing makes me giddy like spontaneous group song and dance routines in public.

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5 Responses to >Rut-a-tut-tut

  1. cb says:

    >You know what helps?Undie Monday.

  2. Ur-spo says:

    >I am saddened to hear you are melancholyIf this is SAD, consider a light box, a proper one !Not to be worrying about the shirt – a photo with you in it ( and perhaps another one of that lovely man of yours) would make me very glad.Someone and I will do a quiet christmas and it sounds lovely; I hope yours will be too – merry in each other's company.

  3. RG says:

    >@Cubby – we can take turns holding the video camera – we'll take turns!@Anne Marie – I'm right there with 'ya sister. D.E.S.P.I.S.E. the holiday season. I got 'yer Ho-Ho-Ho MoFos! LOL

  4. anne marie says:

    >I will be bold enough to say it – THIS TIME OF YEAR SUX! people look at you as if you have two heads if you say "I'm sad", "I don't want to buy things", "I don't want to see the family".know what ya mean…

  5. Cubby says:

    >Awww, having trouble with the Spo-shirt? I'm here to help! Just bring the shirt to Dayton along with a video camera and we can shoot some great scenes. We may have to wash the Spo-shirt twice to get all the stains out…

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