>Tuesday Tidbits


It’s a stripey kind of day today.

I made it back to the gym this morning. Alarm went off at 4:30 am and I was locking my gym locker by 5:00 am and heading out to the floor. I did my entire routine and 30 minutes of cardio. I was acutely aware of the plethora of amazingly, stunningly, beautiful men around me this morning and I was both grateful to get to watch them do their thing and keep me visually stimulated and also appalled at how awful I looked compared to each and everyone of them. I found myself not only wanting each of them, but also literally wanting to be them. To have their chiseled good looks, their amazing torsos and asses, legs and arms. I want to look like them. I really do. I watched all the things they did and wondered, if I did those things too, would I ever look like them? I highly doubt it. So I finished up my work out, showered, (feeling very self conscious about being naked at the gym and exposing my amorphous blob of a body in a sea of granite and marble bodies,) shaved and headed out to my car with mixed emotions: proud and happy that I had worked out, but sad and ashamed that I would never be what I really wanted to be: them.

But it did get my day started off on the right foot. I feel less ashamed of my body and myself on days I work out than I do on days that I don’t, and it is such a nicer way to start the day as opposed to crawling out of bed and driving to work half awake. I feel like I have already accomplished something important before I get to my desk.

I am more depressed about not bowling this season than I realized I would be. I feel like I have been left behind by all of my friends. Out of desperation, I put out a call on Facebook for bowlers, but I know all of my friends who are ready, willing and able to bowl are already on teams, so I didn’t really expect much response. I could just sub or pace but, for some reason, that makes me feel even worse to be there but not really be part of a team. It’s easier for me to just avoid the whole thing. I’m an all or nothing kind of guy. It’s just sad that I have put so much time and effort into putting together two different teams already and they both dissolved, with no small amount of disappointment. I don’t want to have to keep creating a new team every 12 weeks. Although I have a REALLY great name for our next team if there ever is one.


There are a couple of things to look forward to in the near future, but I don’t like to tempt fate so I will wait to mention them until I am closer to the time and can be more confident that the plans won’t fall through.

My husband turns 43 on Saturday. I have arranged for a morning massage from our friend who is a masseur and a big group dinner that night out at a local restaurant he chose, then drinks at Rocks afterwards (which also happens to be Bear Night.) He’s a simple guy and rarely wants to make a big thing out of his birthday (unlike me) but I still want it to be more of a celebration than every other day.

And that, folks, is all I have to say for now.

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7 Responses to >Tuesday Tidbits

  1. Nik_TheGreek says:

    >I agree with RG, Anne Marie and Sue! There is nothing wrong with you or your body. Relax and enjoy!Sorry to hear about the bowling though…Happy Birthday to Jeffrey!

  2. Raybeard says:

    >The photo confirms that you are the most handsome person on earth – bar none!

  3. Ur-spo says:

    >That is a lot to say. Keep in mind, nobody is born and chiseled. everybody has to work on it. I too am in the gym feeling the same way. Always best to keep yourself as the goal, rather than comparing ourselves to others. We won't come up short that way.

  4. JC says:

    >RG said it first…When those moods hit, "Mom" always quoted the Desideratahttp://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm…"Don't compare yourself to others, …" but if you have to, look at the fatties in the coffee shop shoving those pastries in their mouths and think man I'm glad i don't look like THAT.ummm, I need a doughnut.

  5. Sue says:

    >You have really pretty eyes. Be thankful you are alive an healthy; many people are not. http://fairviewsue.wordpress.com/

  6. anne marie says:

    >one of those things to look forward to is ME ME ME!I bet those other guys in the gym are shallow, backstabbing, greedy beeyotches. so you DON'T wanna be like them!happy happy birthday to jeffrey!

  7. RG says:

    >There is NOTHING wrong with your body. And forget about the boyz at the gym – they live there – you don't – you have a life AND a FINE husband.

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