An Honest Post

As many of you fellow bloggers know, sooner or later we bloggers are faced with choices about who we are on our blog, what our blog is about and what content we will and won’t post. We have to consider who may make their way to our blogs and what impact that could have with us in the real world.

As a general rule, I do not tell most people I knew from my pre-blog life about my blog. My current circle of close knits know about it, but they also know a lot more about me than many people from my prior life so there are few, if any, secrets I have from them any way. And of course, most of you know me solely because my blog exists.

 

I have no idea if any of my current coworkers, family members or pre-blog friends and acquaintances knows about and/or read my blog. If they do, they’ve never said so. Part of me wants to know if any of them do, part of me prefers not to know. Ignorance can be bliss when you’re posting pics of yourself spread eagle on the bed in your briefs once a week or talking about your neurotic tendencies and irrational fears and behaviors.

 

Many of my posts deal with my personal feelings and thoughts about the people and places in my life and it can be hard to share them here for fear the subject of my post will read it and know it pertains to them and take offense. Which is kind of funny since the whole point of the blog is for me to share things I can’t otherwise share in my non-web life. I don’t like neutering or censoring myself, but I also don’t like hurting people’s feelings if I can avoid it. But this is one space I want and need to be able to put myself first above all others. What is the point of a blog about me if it isn’t really about the real me? What is the point of taking a journey to self discovery only to hide what I discover?

 

But then I wonder: is SOME censorship good? Should some things be kept locked inside my heart and head for me and me alone?  I strive for honesty at all cost, but honesty can be painful for both me and the people it is directed at. I have tarnished and lost friendships due to my honesty and candidness. (FYI: This is usually because they ask me questions they don’t really want the true answers to, so I only take partial blame for not lying just to make them feel better.) I wonder if people really want or need to know just what I think about some things. Do they really want to discover all of my sexual secrets? Do they want to be privy to my true insanity? (Yeah, there’s still some really weird stuff buried in this head of mine.) Would my husband care if I shared all the trials and tribulations of our marriage and life together? What if my closest friends knew how I felt about every little thing they said and did? (Are any of you worried? Don’t be. I’m not saying there ARE things I haven’t revealed, I’m just asking, if there were, would you really want to know?)

 

I have seriously considered relocating my blog to a new place, maintaining a stricter anonymity and just inviting those along I feel comfortable sharing my life adventure with. This would allow me to really let it all hang out, literally and figuratively. I have such a desire to hold nothing back and talk about so many things, that I hesitate to, on my current blog. But this blog has become so much more than a mere record of events and thoughts in my life.  It has become a canvas on which I discover and reveal parts of myself I some times don’t realize exist until they are exposed through my written words –  a form of self therapy and actualization where I can purge raw thoughts and feelings from my head and then read and reflect on them.

 

I am one who prefers absolute candor, even when it hurts. I always prefer “the cards on the table” approach – to know what and who I’m dealing with and to present myself as honestly as I can so no one ever feels deceived about who and what I am. I prefer reading “slice of life” blogs by people who share their every day lives. Real people with daily struggles and revelations I can identify with. Even in the sometimes “mundane” goings on of their lives, I find inspiration and comfort in the familiarity of experience and emotion. And when one of them takes a leap and reveals on a startling level, I am blown away by their honesty. I think some times being truly honest is the bravest thing anyone can do.

 

I have been working on letting go of the need to be liked by everyone and I am learning to be OK with the fact that some people – many people – don’t like me or won’t as they learn more about me. I am sure I offend many people’s sense of “right” and “good” and “decency”.” When you’re an ultra liberal, openly gay/same-sex married, non-monogamous, pro-choice, atheist, nudist, comic book geek with serious body and food issues, you tend to piss off or scare a lot of people just by existing so you better get used to not being everyone’s favorite

 

So, as I continue to change, evolve and grow and learn about myself and how I fit into the world, I expect my blog will reflect that in increasing brutal honesty. It may become more revealing, which can be very risky but, for me, it’s part of my desire to share my journey to discovering my true self without apology or adherence to others’ standards and parameters.

 

I hope you will continue to follow along, regardless of what I reveal. I hope those that choose to come here and follow my journey or experience my inanity understand they have made a choice to know all the layers, good and bad, with little or no filters and that their lives and choices are not “de-validated” because of anything they read here. I’m just one guy looking at the world through one set of eyes and experiencing things from one point of view, these are MY truths and MY reality, and rarely is anything on this blog about anything other than  me and how I interact with and perceive the world around me.. I don’t expect you to like everything about me or agree with everything I say but I hope, on some level, you’ll take at least one message away from your experience here: be yourself with no apologies, because those that mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind. And in the end, the only one you really need approval from is your
self.

 

Happy Thursday all.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to An Honest Post

  1. (F)redddy says:

    >My mom told me several weeks ago that she enjoyed my blog. You’ll notice I haven’t blogged in several weeks.

  2. Allen says:

    >We’ve been friends for almost 2 decades, though miles and years sometimes get in the way. I’ve loved the view your blog gives me into your daily life and expanded my perception of who you are. Your honesty and surprises are an absolute joy.But this is yours. Your space, your time, your effort. Let it be what you want it to be. Let it say what you want it to.I’ll keep reading.

  3. bridgeout says:

    >”since the whole point of the blog is for me to share things I can’t otherwise share in my non-web life”How true these words are!! And how thought provoking your other words in this post are. These are things that a lot of us wrestle with. I am so multi-faceted… and it is a regular consideration to decide what to share, and what to “protect.”

  4. Sorted Lives says:

    >I try to keep my blog as private as possible. Hence, change of (or funky) name and being obscure. Has it worked? I don’t know?I want to tell more people, but afraid of the repercussions.Do what you think is right and follow your heart. I love your blog and if you move, let me know.

  5. wcs says:

    >So, here I am doing my morning blog reading, and I’m reading your post. The tv is tuned to the morning show in the next room. Remember, I’m reading your post.The morning show is running a story about a song that was written in French, then translated into English, and quickly became famous around the world. They played snippets of the various versions.Remember, I’m reading your post.The song: My Way.So there you go.

  6. Ur-spo says:

    >I believe the more one reveals about your self, the more people will care for you, not dislike you.So pay no heed to vanity viz. ‘what will they think’ I like you/your blog just as you is.

  7. Dan Dunn says:

    >Honest post, honest reply: I enjoy reading your blog. I don’t know you, never met you. You’re a good writer talking about things that I understand and find interesting.

  8. Thomas says:

    >I’m fairly confident, that if your Uncle was a cusser, he would say…”Post whatever you fucking want to Sean!*

  9. >I like reading your blog cause, even though I am a real live straight girl, I like what you have to say. I also like to expand my mind and learn about other people with whom I inhabit this planet.I know many single gay men, but no married gay men, or women, for that matter.plus you sound like a person with whom I would want to hang out over coffee at the MAD. provided I lived closer, of course…like you, I wish we didn’t have to wear clothes; I have been going commando style since 1977 (ooooops, I just spilled a secret!).sean, tell what you will, and leave other secrets under the covers. like undie monday, it’s what you DON’T see that makes it sexy!

  10. tornwordo says:

    >I know where you’re coming from. I tell everyone about the blog and then pretend that they never read it. And I pretty much let it all hang out. Even my grandma reads it, but she never mentions the salacious bits. Life’s short, why hide who we are. Love me or get the hell out is how I look at it. (Working for oneself has certain benefits. I don’t know if I’d be so open if I had a corporate gig.)

  11. Anonymous says:

    >Keep your blog where it is, right here.You’ve always been who you are, and make no apologies for that. If someone IRL finds out about your blog or whatever, so what? You want to be open? Then answer their question if they say “Was that about me?” What’s the worst that is going to happen? They’ll either accept it, or move on, as we all do, right?A blog is for YOU. It’s your diary, but in a more public way. It’s a PRIVILEGE for others to read it, not a RIGHT. Sure, people can find it randomly online, but so what? Just because something is online, does that dictate that we suddenly cannot feel, express, emote, rant, vent, love, or anything else? Of course not, that’s ridiculous. There’s a time and place for everything under the stars. This is the place for your blog, your thoughts, and this part of your vast life and circle of friends.Along with that freedom comes responsibility in self-policing. Does your hubby want you to post the trails of your marriage? Ask him. See what he’s comfortable with, because at the end of the day, it’s just the two of you. In general, you cannot neuter yourself because you fear offending someone. If you’re out ripping someone apart, well then you have to assume the repercussions of that (if any come up, sometimes they don’t). If you’re just venting, eh….who cares. You’re human, and we all vent. And if you have issues w/ someone, wouldn’t it be better to handle it one on one first? Whatever results from that could be the blog entry, opposed to just posing the problem, and not having a solution in tow. You’re good at follow through, so there’s no doubt you WOULD handle something one on one first. After that, it’s however you want to put it out there. Just don’t blindside someone, ya know? (Not that you do, it’s just a general thought/statement.)Be honest. Be yourself. Be loved by others, whether from up close, or from afar.e.g.

  12. Mark in DE says:

    >Wow, this topic is one I have wrestled with many times. I have chosen not to reveal my last name or exact location to ensure that no one who googles my name will find this blog. I don’t want co-workers and some friends to read it.However, I have given my blog link to some friends I know in real life, and this has made me feel a need to censor what I write. There have been times I’ve wanted to write about sexual things but have stopped myself because I know some friends read my blog.As you said, why write if you can’t be yourself? In my case, I am being myself, just not ALL of myself when I write.I LOVE READING YOUR BLOG!

  13. A Lewis says:

    >After all of that, all we get is “Happy Thursday”? I don’t think you’re alone…at all. I’ll bet it’s at least crossed the mind of nearly 100% of bloggers. and those things must be sorted out and meet your purposes (I almost typed PORPOSES!) for life and blogging. You know I’ll be there…wherever, whenver…..provided I’m invited.

  14. James says:

    >Hey I love reading your blog, it gives me such insight to you my friend…I hope that I can follow you wherever you may take this…

  15. CawfeeGuy says:

    >*sigh* that is WAY too heavy for a Thursday.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s