I know you’re all waiting with baited breath for my blog post about my weekend with Tom and Dale and the graduation party, but I need to sit down and do it justice. My guests and friends deserve that much. So, for now, I’ll fill you in on the big, gay, fabulous debacle of last night, otherwise known as the last game of the summer session for our gay bowling league.
Given that, during the summer, we bowl on Mondays and are the ONLY league in the Bowling Center and, given that it is was the final night of bowling (for now) and, given that we’re all a bunch of big gay hams, a few of us decided to have some silly fun and show up in our own forms of “drag.”
Here we are upon arrival!
Housemate Josh and friend Tony in leather, me in my SuperGay outfit:
Josh and Tony clarifying who’s the Dom and who’s the Sub:
Friend Tom aka Peggy Sparkles, riding Josh to the snack bar:
Hubby Jeffrey discovering how many licks it takes
to get to the creamy goodness of a Super Sassy Pop:
Me, my former Teammate Tony (of the Cosmo Nuts who was subbing for one of the 7BJS last night) and Tony (aka Go-Go Bear). It’s a double shot of Tony with a Sassy chaser:
We bowled for most of the evening without incident until it was announced that there were 4 candidates for the “Gayest Bowler Award”: Me, Josh, Tony and Peggy. We were told we had the remainder of the evening to “gay it up” and try to win this much coveted award. Tony (Go-Go) and Peggy (Tom) didn’t seemed too interested in competing, but Josh and I have a long standing duel for the title since he won the award last Season so it was so ON!
At first we tried just cat fighting for it:
But when that ended in a draw I knew I was going to have to step it up, so I tweaked my outfit a bit:
That still wasn’t going to cut it. I (a middle aged, frumpy, out of shape, bitter, pale white gay man) was trailing so far behind Josh (a young, toned, tanned, bubbly gay youth) so I had to really get in the game.
Utilizing a solar blanket from Go-Go’s car and Peggy’s fashion sense, we slipped into the bathroom and were able to create a crinkly, crackly, shiny frock that wafted when I walked but not when I stood still. We turned my cape into a fabulous turban and added my flashing rainbow ring as an accent broach to the turban and VOILA! I was back in the running:
Unfortunately, despite the initial roars and applause and accolades I received when re-entering the bowling floor in this fabulous new ensemble, Josh recognized the wisdom of wearing something shiny to mesmerize the gays, so he got a hold of some aluminum foil and scissors and accessorized his already-unbeatable-flesh-baring-pretty boy outfit, assuring his solid ass-whipping win. Of course, flashing his little, perfectly round, bare bubble but at the crowd didn’t hurt his chances, either.
Here we are just moments before they announced the winner, while we were still friends:
I won’t say I wasn’t crushed or that I didn’t spend the whole drive home plotting my revenge but, after sleeping on it and having some time to process it, I realized that, yes, Josh must be destroyed.
Oh, and as a very minor consolation prize, 7BJS won the award for First Place Team, having won the most number of games for the season.
And, despite losing, I still think I looked #@!#!@&$$%#ing fabulous in that solar blanket.