More about me than you want or need to know…

I was born in 1971 in Niskayuna, NY.

I have 3 brothers and one sister. I am the 4th child. One brother is younger than me. I am the only gay one, so far as I know.

My family moved to and lived in Phoenix, AZ from when I was 1 to when I was 9.

We moved back to New York when I was age 9 and I have lived here ever since.

I have lived in Troy, Colonie, Guilderland, Jamestown, Rensselaer and Albany: all cities/towns in NY.

I co-own and live in a house in Spiegletown, NY which we closed on February 9, 2012.

I have known I was “different” (gay) from age 5. I was picked on by classmates for being gay from 4th through 12th grade.

I am the adult child of an alcoholic.

I was raised in the Irish Catholic faith. I rejected that and all religions by the time I was in high school.

I came out, as gay, at the age of 18 in my Freshman year of college. I had my first boyfriend the same year. It was not the first time I had sex with another male.

I have had intercourse with a woman once. I was in high school. I vomited and cried after I did it. To this day, I am uncomfortable being physically touched by women. I have many female friends and mean no offense to any of them.

I have now been out of the closet longer than I was in it.

I started as an Art major in college. I was blacklisted in my art department in college. I admitted I wanted to be a comic book artist. I was told that was not real art and began failing all of my assignments. I do not believe that was a coincidence.

I switched majors my Sophomore year to psychology.

I only completed two years of college. I had to leave because my financial aid was reduced and I could not afford tuition.

I did take more college courses from other colleges. I still do not have a degree.

I was in the inaugural LGBT support group in College. I became president in it’s second year. I was the only member. Nobody knew that because we were allowed to keep our membership anonymous. Gay people were still not well liked then.

I kept it afloat by myself for a year.

On National Coming Out Day, October 11, 1990, I littered the campus with post-its that said “A Gay person Was Here” everywhere I went. It was, technically, a Catholic College. The local catholic newspaper was not happy. They said my college was a “Hotbed for Homosexuals” because of the post-its. They believed there were many of us because of the volume of post-its. It was just me.

I worked in retail for 10 years after college. I hated most of it.

I loved my coffee barista job.

I worked as an Assistant Youth Coordinator for a non-profit organization.

Them I was an Educational Assistant. I worked with “special needs” and “learning challenged” students. I worked as a Camp Counselor in the summer during that time, as well. I loved both jobs. I thought about becoming a teacher. I didn’t.

I am now a civil servant. I have been since October 1998. I chose the job solely for the salary, benefits and security. I don’t love it. I don’t hate it. I just do it. I am the only out, gay person I know in my building and agency.

I have only had one co-worker openly treat me bad because I was gay. She admitted it in front of our mutual supervisor. She got in trouble. She did not lose her job, but I no longer work with her.

I met my husband in January of 1997. We started dating December 7, 1997. He proposed to me on my birthday, May 17, 1998. We registered as Domestic Partners with the City of Albany on August 21, 1998. We had a wedding ceremony in Albany, NY on October 2nd, 1999. No legal benefits came with that. We had a Civil Union in Bennington, VT on September 15, 2000. No legal benefits came with that. We had a solemnization of vows in New Paltz, NY on June 5, 2004. No legal benefits came with that. We got married in Provincetown, MA on May 28, 2005. No legal benefits came with that. We got married in Toronto, Ontario, CA on September 2, 2006. Some legal recognition came with this. New York passed a marriage equality bill in June 24, 2011. We are now legally recognized as married.

It only took us 12 years, 6 tries, 3 states and 2 countries to get (legally) married in NY state.

We do not have and do not want children. Ever.

We had a dog for 10 years. His name was Clyde. He was a Rat-Terrier Chihuahua mix. We adopted him from my brother when he was 5. He was our “child”. We had him for 10 years. We had to put him to sleep in May of 2011. It devastated me. I still miss him horribly.

On March 24, 2012, we adopted a puppy from a rescue clinic in Latham, NY. He was abandoned in KY at about 12 weeks old. He is a “chihuahua mix”; we suspect he may be part Dachsund.

We did not want a puppy. We did not want a tiny dog. We did not plan to adopt that day; we were just looking. It was love at first site. He is now the second “pet” love of our life. He is named Harvey Milk Breen, after the famous gay civil rights activist and politician.

I still love and miss Clyde.

Harvey is very different. But that’s OK.

Sometimes I talk to Harvey about Clyde as if he was an older brother that died before Harvey was born.

It makes me happy and sad to do this, and I always cry.

On July 28, 2012 we adopted another dog from the same clinic as the first.

She was a 2 year old Jack Russell Terrier mix. Possibly also part dachshund.

She was a rescue and we do not know where or with wom she was for her first 2 years.

We named her Rita Mae Breen, after the famous lesbian author (Rita Mae Brown).

She is Harvey’s opposite in every way.

She looks and behaves more like Clyde.

That is oddly comforting to me.

I was diagnosed with Severe Ulcerative Colitis in May of 1999.

I had a total Colectomy in February of 2000.

I no longer have a large intestine.

I still have many health complications from the surgery and the disease.

I lost my ability to be a “receptive partner” (bottom) because of the surgery.

That still bothers me immensely to this day.

I have struggled with my weight my entire life.

My heaviest was 256 pounds.

My lightest (non-illness induced) was 173 lbs.

I try to stay between 175-185 lbs.

I fail. A lot.

I have performed in community theater.

I helped found an LGBT chorus in Albany, NY.

I was president of that chorus for 5 years.

I met my husband in that chorus.

I was part of an LGBT bowling league for 3 years.

I was the Vice-President of the League for part of that time.

I left the LGBT league and bowled with a straight league for one season.

I had to stop bowling for the foreseeable future health reasons.

I miss it a lot.

I have have fallen in love four times in my life.

My first love tried to kill himself.

He was married to a woman.

He couldn’t cope with the struggle.

I was in college and we dated for 11 months.

I pined after him for 7 years.

My second love is my husband.

He was married to a woman, prior to coming out.

He divorced before we met.

He does not have any children.

He is from Booneville, Mississippi.

My third love was a couple. They broke my heart and reveled in it. I only admitted to myself I was in love after I learned to stop hating them for how they treated me. I still hate them a little. Harsh words, I know, but it’s how I feel.

My fourth love was a surprise. It has resulted in my coming out to myself and others as polyamorous.

My husband knows and loves and support me. I love him all the more for that.

I officially came out as an Atheist in 2009.

I have always been one.

I am a nudist.

I crochet.

I knit.

I play Trombone.

I draw.

I wanted to be a comic book artist when I was little.

I got a character published in DC Comics when I was in 5th grade.

It did not lead to a career in comic books.

I still read and collect comic books to this day.

Green Lantern is my favorite Comic Book Character.

I love Cosmopolitans.

I hate beets.

I have Galeophobia.

I am a pacifist.

I am an unashamed liberal humanist.

I was raised in an impoverished family and home.

I am better off than both my parents.

I worked hard to get here, financially.

Despite being overweight and out of shape I love being active.

I like to play tennis.

I like to swim.

I like to walk, hike and jog.

I like to bike ride.

I like to work out and exercise.

My various illnesses are huge stumbling blocks to my exercise regime.

I keep trying.

I sometimes suspect I might have a Body dysmorphic disorder.

I know I am a compulsive eater.

I was in therapy for 3 months with a Social Worker.

I quit because I disliked him.

He made me uncomfortable.

I think about getting more therapy sometimes.

I have a gay primary care physician.

He is the only gay one among the 5 doctors I see regularly, so far as I know.

I go camping sometimes.

It surprises everyone.

I have been blogging since September 2006.

I think about stopping a lot.

I don’t think I ever will.

I do not have a fetish that I know of.

If I could only keep one possession, it would be my wedding ring.

It is easy to gain my trust.

It is almost impossible to re-gain it once it is broken.

Because I overlook a lot, people think I am unaware. I am not.

I take friendships very seriously. My heart has been broken more often by friends than boyfriends.

I have spent my whole life trying not to be a spineless door mat.

I have a lot of guilt issues.

I am better at standing up for others than for myself.

People take advantage of my generosity.

I rarely get as much out of my relationships as I put in.

I still have nightmares and wet dreams.

Not at the same time.

That is all.

For now.

8 thoughts on “More about me than you want or need to know…”

  1. I feel privileged to have met you. thank you so much for your honesty and openness. Would love to have your email address if you don’t mind.

  2. I got to meet you through this blog world because of Dr. Spo. Small world.
    Nice background photo. BTW I weigh 175 lbs. I think this is rather slim not overweight.

  3. I spent the night in Schenectady once. It was not a positive experience. I hope Speigletown is a nicer place than Schenectady. With you and your husband in it, it has to be.

    I notice you and your husband share the last name “Breen.” To me, that looks like a combination of two other names, possibly “Brown” and “Green.” Was it original to either of you, or did you construct the name yourselves?

    Do you still wish to be a comic book artist? Interesting aside: my brother-in-law writes the text for comic books. His art is with words, not pictures, but is closely related to the drawings.

  4. You leave me speechless (as always) and joyful with tears, for your openess, your honesty, your struggles and your successes. My heart is so full for having the priviledge of communicating with you and reading your posts. You will always be one of my heroes. Thank you a million times over, for everything you do, and everything you are.

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