Things have been mostly quiet since we returned from Maine. Back to the drudgeries of work and chores and life’s usual aches and pains yadda yadda yadda, so there’s not been much to share.
What has changed (or resurfaced, for those who have been following me long enough) is my latest round of “Idle Eyes vs the ever expanding waistline.” Yup, I’m counting calories and upping my exercise, again, to try to undo the damage I have done over the last year. To say I have been inactive and eating and drinking with abandon would be a NICE way of putting it. The depression, anger and frustration that come from weight gain and an inability to fit into my clothes is a Mobius Strip. I gain weight, then react to the negative emotions the gain causes by eating and loafing, which causes more weight gain, which then causes more depression, anger and frustration, repeat ad nauseum.
My “rock bottom” seems to sink deeper and deeper, and this latest weight gain is the farthest I have fallen (or the most I have gained, to be precise) since my initial weight loss back in 1996. (I went from 256 to 174 for those who don’t know). I knew it was getting worse, I felt it, I saw it. I just couldn’t energize myself to do anything about it. I even tried to embrace the “love myself and enjoy life, no matter my size” philosophy and pretended not to care. That didn’t work and I just got more and more self-loathing as time passed and pounds piled on. I can now only wear about 25% of my clothing.
I’m not exactly sure what finally clicked in my head but something did and I feel back in control of the situation for the first time in a long time. I don’t approach weight loss as “I’m going to try.” I approach it is “I am going to do.” And I put everything in place to ensure my success.
Step 1: Purge the house of all the awful crap that has made its way into my cabinets and fridge in the guise of “comfort food.” (No crap at work in my desk drawers, either.)
Step 2: Set a firm “ideal weight.” goal.
Step 3: Plan out my meals, snacks and beverages.
Step 4: Purchase foods that fit within my meal plan and calorie limitations.
Step 5: Get exercise a BARE MINIMUM of 30 minutes a day, but supplement as much as possible as often as possible, whenever and wherever I can (walking at lunch time, always use stairs, use the bathroom on the 1st floor at work so I have to climb the 4 flights of stairs multiple times a day, pick one house chore/project a day that requires me to be mobile, walk the dogs more, etc.)
Step 6: Limit my alcohol intake to special occasions.
Here are some other things I do to make it easier for me to be successful, as well:
I pick a day as my weigh in day and commit to weighing in each week and record the results, good or bad. I use to weigh every day, for motivation, but any morning I showed even a slight gain sent me into a depression. A weekly weigh in suits me better.
I use the “My Fitness Pal” app on my iPhone. It helps me keep track of the foods and calories I eat, the exercise I do and the calories I burn, the water I drink and the progress I make on my weight loss.
I eat NOTHJING unless I’ve researched it and decided it’s worth eating. I call it “intentional eating.” Even any snacking I do is planned for. No popping anything (food items, people) in my mouth casually or thoughtlessly. The only beverage I drink freely is water. Everything else is measured and tracked, from the Tablespoonful of Sugar Free French Vanilla in my coffee in the morning to the cup of applesauce or bag of baby carrots I eat for afternoon snack.
To nutshell it: move more, eat less and better and only eat intentionally.
I have a long way to go, as I have strayed far from the path. I want to lose 45.2 lbs. Correction. I WILL lose 42.5 lbs. (Please note: anyone who attempts to and/or successfully guesses my current weight will be banned from my blog and shunned for life.)
Here’s to a happier, healthier me (and a healthier all of you who have been struggling with your own health issues)